AzrielTheHarbinger
Fapstronaut
Hello! I am 18 years old and ive been fapping to porn since i was 10. Until i was 14 i would watch normal stuff, vanilla mostly. Around that age i discovered anime and soon... Hentai, i would fap to hentai daily around 4-6 times, i coinsidered it pretty ok at the time. The problem started when i entered the 2nd year of highschool, that's around when i got HOCD, i would test myself for hours to see if i get erections on guys and stuff, rarely when watching pictures of gay porn i would come, but that is expected when the only thing you do all day is try to beat your meat to gay porn to see if you like it or not. So a year past with HOCD, i was going mad but i wasnt in that bad of a state. August of 2019 everything changed, i was on discord with some dudes when one dude sented me a trap hentai artwork, i didnt get an erection but i felt extremely horny and while my dick wasnt big, it was hard, i didnt fap though, in septemember i was on the car and suddenly thoughts of anime transgendered people would come to mind and i was so horny that i've never been before (and never been again like that) , what happened was extremely weird, my dick was in pain, it was a really pleasurable and aroused pain and i even came without touching myself, this mever happened before and when i came back to my senses i was really disgusted. Throughout the year i tested myself many times to trap hentai, sometimes i got horny but most of them i didnt, and when i ended up coming i hated it, it felt quite good but i hated myself for fapping to such stuff. And also during that time i noticed a pattern, i would get aroused by traps once in two the weeks, the arousal would dissapear either if i really resisted it or if i ended up fapping to the traps. I should clarify that everything i mentioned is hentai (2d porn) and only that, when i was not aroused on traps i would fap to normal hentai. HOCD did kick in every now and then but it was the least of my worries. These last two months i ended up checking the "traps" subbreddit, honestly i was about to vommit, which was REALLY good because it meant that i dont like them, lately though the urge to fap to traps has been getting stronger and even some irl traps dont seem that bad, in fact when i fap to trap hentai i cum in seconds. While i do enjoy it, i hate myself afterwards, lately it doesnt affect me as much as it did and i dont want that, i dont want to fap to traps, i just dont... I dont want to become a person who is turned on by traps. Plus i dont want to be gay or even bi, i want to be straight who is aroused only by pusses. So what do you think? Is this a porn effect or is it a permanent fetish that cannot be removed? Can i actually get rid of these thoughts? ...
THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY POST!!!
Edit:i should mention that before the HOCD i considered gay porn as an unspeakable and disgusting act and the same applies to traps.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY POST!!!
Edit:i should mention that before the HOCD i considered gay porn as an unspeakable and disgusting act and the same applies to traps.