Need immidiate help!!

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by AzrielTheHarbinger, Aug 20, 2020.

  1. AzrielTheHarbinger

    AzrielTheHarbinger Fapstronaut

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    Hello! I am 18 years old and ive been fapping to porn since i was 10. Until i was 14 i would watch normal stuff, vanilla mostly. Around that age i discovered anime and soon... Hentai, i would fap to hentai daily around 4-6 times, i coinsidered it pretty ok at the time. The problem started when i entered the 2nd year of highschool, that's around when i got HOCD, i would test myself for hours to see if i get erections on guys and stuff, rarely when watching pictures of gay porn i would come, but that is expected when the only thing you do all day is try to beat your meat to gay porn to see if you like it or not. So a year past with HOCD, i was going mad but i wasnt in that bad of a state. August of 2019 everything changed, i was on discord with some dudes when one dude sented me a trap hentai artwork, i didnt get an erection but i felt extremely horny and while my dick wasnt big, it was hard, i didnt fap though, in septemember i was on the car and suddenly thoughts of anime trannies would come to mind and i was so horny that i've never been before (and never been again like that) , what happened was extremely weird, my dick was in pain, it was a really pleasurable and aroused pain and i even came without touching myself, this mever happened before and when i came back to my senses i was really disgusted. Throughout the year i tested myself many times to trap hentai, sometimes i got horny but most of them i didnt, and when i ended up coming i hated it, it felt quite good but i hated myself for fapping to such stuff. And also during that time i noticed a pattern, i would get aroused by traps once in two the weeks, the arousal would dissapear either if i really resisted it or if i ended up fapping to the traps. I should clarify that everything i mentioned is hentai (2d porn) and only that, when i was not aroused on traps i would fap to normal hentai. HOCD did kick in every now and then but it was the least of my worries. These last two months i ended up checking the "traps" subbreddit, honestly i was about to vommit, which was REALLY good because it meant that i dont like them, lately though the urge to fap to traps has been getting stronger and even some irl traps dont seem that bad, in fact when i fap to trap hentai i cum in seconds. While i do enjoy it, i hate myself afterwards, lately it doesnt affect me as much as it did and i dont want that, i dont want to fap to traps, i just dont... I dont want to become a person who is turned on by traps. Plus i dont want to be gay or even bi, i want to be straight who is aroused only by pusses. So what do you think? Is this a porn effect or is it a permanent fetish that cannot be removed? Can i actually get rid of these thoughts? ...

    THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY POST!!!

    Edit:i should mention that before the HOCD i considered gay porn as an unspeakable and disgusting act and the same applies to traps.
     
    iluvfreedom likes this.
  2. Just stop PMO and this ideas will disappear. Your brain was programmed by excessive P and M to answer to vídeos like these. Stop the habit of watching these kind of shit and your brain will go back to 0.
     
    Little Prince and iluvfreedom like this.
  3. CaloiCyclist10

    CaloiCyclist10 Fapstronaut

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    Wassup my man. So here's the deal.. how do u know u got HOCD? Did u go see a doctor, a psychologist or somethin'? Cause, u know, u cant take any measures if u dont really know what u got.
    Other thing.. yes, most of the fetishes we develop on watching porn are induced (all of them, in fact), this means it doesn't show our inner us.. in fact, in general, we only get to watching these fetishes when our brains start to want more extreme stuff.. and the older u got, the extremier will be the things u watch on ur screen, so it's a good thing that you became part of the NF very soon
    And as our brother up here said, get ur mind on thing that u really enjoy doin... reading, running, exercising in general, bicycling... all those thing will get ur head away from porn, and once have developed a habit, it will be easier to handle the urge to jack off
     
    iluvfreedom likes this.
  4. AzrielTheHarbinger

    AzrielTheHarbinger Fapstronaut

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    Trust me, i have hocd, actually i had, now i dont that much. Plus no i havent seen anyone specialized in that because in my country, theres no one like that. But i had every possible symptom.
     
  5. CaloiCyclist10

    CaloiCyclist10 Fapstronaut

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    Cmon man, dont make excuses... where u live?
    The specialist doesnt need to be specialist on that specific area in order to help you.. you can go to a normal psychologist, tell your issues and he/she will read about it and give you an opinion.. Just, cmon man, i mean, there's gotta be a way, there's a way... we gon' heal from this shit!
    Also, take a look on this video:
    It'll hel you a lot!
     

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