need some help...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by adityareddy, Jan 7, 2018.

  1. adityareddy

    adityareddy New Fapstronaut

    hi there! I'm 23 M. I need some help in answering a question and I was hoping that you guys might help me.

    why do nofap?
    I have many friends who masturbate to porn and still, they are smart and respect women.some of them are even in the top 50 universities in the world. they are also compassionate towards other and always help me in times of need.why can't we just try to be like them by managing masturbation?

    if you play more video games it doesn't mean that you are addicted to the video games right?.if you are having fun while playing it why to just give it up rather than controlling it.many say that pleasure due to porn temporary, but if you look objectively every pleasure in life is temporary.

    thank you in advance for any help you can provide.
  2. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

    I'm 30 M, and I'm here because of my addiction to porn, I now have PIED - Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. I never even thought I was addicted to porn, because I'm normal in every other way and I never thought porn was THAT necessary. Turns out, one is addicted to it when they can't get their erection without porn, and this INCLUDES being with a girl/woman. I started watching porn at the age of 18 and have been at it for 12 years now. Pretty much everyday on an average. My brain is programmed to be aroused only by porn, and recently when I had sex with a girl, I couldn't get it up. It was embarrasing and it burns me that I couldn't penetrate her deep enough and pleasure her. I really like the girl too, and knowing she's had sex with 2 other guys before me who were fully able to pleasure her, it burns me that I couldn't satisfy her enough in that department.

    If you're really moderating your porn consumption at say twice a month, you should be fine, because you're not addicted to it, I guess you're in a safe zone. But even then, try to quit porn and just masturbate without it by simply fantasizing about a real girl you know, that's much healthier than porn. Well, healthier for your penis, but don't let the girl know because she'd slap you, especially since I see you're Indian lol. I've apparently had this condition for nearly 2 years and I never realized it until I just had sex for the first time 6 months ago. Because that was around the time when I couldn't fully be erect. I could if I watch hardcore porn, but not when I'm even flirting with a girl talking about sex or fantasizing anything. Hell I couldn't get it up even when I got a BJ. That's how shitty the porn problem has caused me, and I never even knew it..

    Bottomline, porn is bad for your health, I'm not here to lecture you that it's bad morally. But for you to be sexually healthy with a healthy boner and healthy morning woods, and ultimately the main goal - proper and full sex with your to-be -gf / wife, you need to stay clear of porn and keep masturbation to a bare minimum.. If only I knew this piece of info before I was hit with this ED shit.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Hi welcome here and thanks for your questions.
    That's impossible. It 's a contradiction.
    Watching porn is always influencing the way you look at woman in a negative way.
    To me:
    Porn is: taking what 's not mine. It's a kind of stealing something.
    Porn is: lust, egoism. While real live is giving, seeing and caring about the other.
    Porn is creating more craving, let me wanting more and more. Let me move my healthy boundaries time after time.

    Your friends are telling that porn isn't harming, isn't influencing the way they see woman.
    But I promise you with the hand on my heart: One day, they will pay the price.

    To me that doesn't impress me at all. All kind of people are using porn. From director to cleaner, housewifes and secretaries.
    I did try to keep my porn and masturbation habit for years. But it gave me lot of problems.
    I saw: It's not me. Actually I don't want it. There was a huge anxiety and restlessness in my heart.
    Now I 've quit the use of porn for good, I have peace in my heart. A very deep peace. That's priceless. And i will maintain that at all cost.

    It depends. It different from person to person.
    Try to stop for a month, then you will discover the dependency.
    Same with porn and masturbation.
    Try to stop for a while, then you will find out how strong the dependency on the feelings and cravings to lust really are.

    Sure everything here on earth is temporarily, but that doesn't mean we should't strive to a healthy life?
    Why should we choose suffering if we can experience peace and wholeness?
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Prashanna

    Prashanna Fapstronaut

    I really don't think that statement goes hand in hand. It might depend on the person. Because I've been a porn addict for 12 years, but I can see women without objectifying them. Hell some of my girl-friends wear revealing clothes and I still manage to speak to them by looking them in the eye and not even fantasize about them. But at the same time, if I see some girl on the street who is obviously dressed slutty, I do look at HER like an object. But same way, I simply see a girl who looks like a 'good girl', I just see her with respect. Obviously, when anyone sees a slutty dressed girl, even a monk wouldn't look at her respectfully. He may look at her with disgust, I look at her specifically, in an objectifying way. And the women who look normal, I don't even bat an eye to them.
  5. Marcothebest_1995

    Marcothebest_1995 Fapstronaut

    I will talk about me.

    I became an addicted to PMO because PMO was the only way that I had to live my sexuality.

    I was abused by some girls when I was younger, this developed a lot of blocks and lack of confidence with them.

    This led me to have extremely little, near no success, with girls.

    I started with fantasy, then photos, then strip teases, then porn. Into porn normal sex, then I started to develop feticisms. In last period I was a lot into femdom, CEI, threesomes with a girl shared and a certain cuckold component.

    It's all about Coolidge effect.

    When I was not into porn, I was into chats. Sexting, sending pictures and videos and role playing about what I used to see into videos.

    So I decided to remove chats, later on porn and I did also a good streak of no masturbation. Between 2nd of October and 19th of December I masturbated 4 times. Then I had a full relapse into masturbation and I felt once more the Coolidge effect: I was going extremely quickly towards bad fantasies, which would have led to porn.

    If you feel more tolerance and experience a need of constant more-hardcored material, you are an addicted. Or, this was my case.

    So now porn, chats and masturbation are all prohibited in every way.

    Day 7, and I can control everything very well. The only thing that matters is not jerking off today. Repeat this thought every day.
  6. You may be right. But for sure using porn is always changing your brain and leaves behind tracks in the subconsciousness.
    So if somebody wants an optimum life and relationships, forget about porn in its entirety.

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