Need Some Helpful Advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by JustAMan, Aug 20, 2014.

  1. JustAMan

    JustAMan Fapstronaut

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    A pornography addiction has got to be the worst kind out there. I joined NoFap several months ago and I've been struggling throughout. I don't even use my counter anymore. There are times when I will be fine. I've made it to 14 days which is my personal best. I'll have a good streak going and then completely blow it and any progress I've made. I really want to quit. It's like my mind is telling me "I'll be damned if you take this away from me!" Thing is....not only do I want to...I need to quit! I have to. I'd be lying if I told you I'm doing this for me alone. I have been in a long term relationship for a year now. I plan on proposing in October. She knows all about my addiction. The lies, the sneakiness, she knows. I cannot lose her. It's not like I haven't been trying. I even downloaded covenant eyes on everything. My desktop cpu, my laptop, my android and my ipad. But let's face it. I'm a real addict and I know how to find a loophole. Doesn't have to been hardcore for me to get off. There's NETFLIX, youtube and everything else. Twerking is everywhere! There will always be triggers. So what do I do? What can I do to re-direct my mind from all of the negative triggers?? Feels like I'm no good at doing anything else. Any advice?! I'm sick of lying to my girl. FYI she's broken up with me twice over this BS! I'm ready to settle down with here but I can't have her and porn too! Any help??
     
  2. wanker13

    wanker13 New Fapstronaut

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    put a parental block on your computer! let her choose the password so you won't know! All cravings last 15 minutes, ride the wave man!
     
  3. JustAMan

    JustAMan Fapstronaut

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    Man if cravings last only 15 minutes then that's good to know. I hope you're right. Thanks a lot!
     
  4. Phoenix-free

    Phoenix-free Fapstronaut

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    I think you ought to get an Accountability Partner. Someone you can be completely honest with. Someone to help you analyze any relapses that may come, someone to help you plan to avoid relapse in the future, someone to hold your feet to the fire. It sounds like you need to be in daily contact with your accountability partner...at least to start with. Read posts on this site...there's plenty of advice to be found. Learn about addiction, join a Sex Addicts Anonymous or other 12 step group. Find out what triggers you. Avoid triggers. Look to understand your feelings...expressions of underlying unmet needs, and figure out how to meet those needs in healthy ways. Set small goals, then extend them.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  5. coolmike87

    coolmike87 Fapstronaut

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    I have experience with covenant eyes. Maybe you could block youtube for a while? Maybe you could even block netflix on your computer and only watch movies with the gf. It really comes down to how badly do you want to stop. If your gf is good motivation to you then kudos, but if you don't really want to stop your going to keep finding those loopholes. Covenant eyes is basically only going to block the videos. And like I said you should probably add youtube to your block list. But the rest is up to you to have the strength to say no. You don't want to live the rest of your life wondering what it would be like if you stopped masturbating and didn't lose this girl you love, do you? Your brain may trick you for now that because shes taken you back that you can get away with it once in a while, but thats your brain tricking you and you have to realize that your on the verge of losing someone you love because of your addiction. Take this stuff seriously. I don't know if you have one or not, but maybe start a journal in the journal thread? That could help. Update daily. Post regularly and help other. Goodluck man.
     

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