Need some Online dating advice

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by mcouepa, Mar 25, 2019.

  1. mcouepa

    mcouepa Fapstronaut

    I’m only a few days away from hitting my 90 day streak and one of the things I decided I was going to do after hitting it was to start dating again. I am debating on trying out online dating apps such as tinder and bumble. Here’s the thing, I’m 25 and no longer really care about random hookups. I want to actually go on dates and connect with women and hopefully find a girlfriend. Has anyone had true success like this on these apps? My thing is I am relatively busy with school and work and I also don’t enjoy going out to bars with my friends anymore. Any thoughts?
  2. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    I haven't personally, but I know there are other people who have had some success with online dating. Whenever I use them I just feel like I'm wasting my time.

    My advice is just to keep focusing on yourself. The dating stuff will sort itself out naturally. Just focus on yourself and the things you love doing. If you do what you enjoy, odds are you will eventually run into someone else who enjoys doing the same things that you do, and you will make a connection. Participate in social activities that are aligned with your interests. You don't need to go to bars to meet people. There are local meetups, there are concerts and social events, and there are parks and other public spaces. If you go to those things, you will meet people. Not just women, but all sorts of people.

    Rest easy. There's no need to rush into a relationship. Just trust that it will happen when the time is right. In the meantime, try to appreciate the single life. You are not responsible for anyone other than yourself, you are free to do whatever you want with your free time, and you can meet whoever you want. It's not so bad :)
    k0nn3ct and Jim_pooley like this.
  3. SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

    I would take "true success" to be a long lasting relationship. I haven't had that myself, but I do know of one successful relationship that started on POF.

    But it's possible to meet some decent people through these sites, it just takes a lot of time, effort and frustration to cut through the timewasters and assorted weirdos.

    The likes of Tinder, Bumble and POF, which are free to use, have huge numbers of people, but you soon find the number of truly viable ones make up a tiny percentage. Sites where you have to pay generally have more people who are putting in the effort to find a serious relationship, but are limited by the number of people who will dip their hands into their pockets and pay.

    You've got nothing to lose by trying, but you really have to dedicate some time and effort to it to get results, and even then nothing is guaranteed.
  4. dukesoup

    dukesoup Fapstronaut

    I have done a lot of online dating and am considered somewhat of an expert, haha! I used to meet up with 2-3 girls a week and I gotta say Most of the people online dating are kind of dumb and lazy. You’ll find a girlfriend easier if you just work on recovery, go to the gym, take walks, etc. If you love yourself and are patient youll naturally run into someone remarkable! Not saying don’t do online dating, it is definitely an experience. Its really a numbers game so if you want to meet anyone worth your time its best to use 3-4 several dating apps at a time.
    Capt. U likes this.
  5. cardedcape

    cardedcape New Fapstronaut

    I'm a woman (25) and I'm hoping to do the same! I'm only on day 4 though haha. In my past experience there are definitely people who are interested in relationships on those sites. My fear is that they'll want to have sex too early in the process of getting to know each other (earlier than I'm comfortable with). I wish you the best of luck! At our age, most girls are pretty upfront about what they're looking for in their profiles.
  6. Live and Grow7

    Live and Grow7 Fapstronaut

    I'll chime in since my wife and I meet on OKCupid. I say it's certainly possible to meet someone great online and what I liked about OKC was the questions you could answer about preferences and beliefs.

    You could sort to see people mainly by how many similar answers you've both given to questions. Not an exact thing by any measure but knowing where they stand about certain things from the get go helped me know who to message.

    Any woman I messaged I read their profile first and tried to include a bit of that in my message to show that I wasn't just surfing pictures. Women get tons of messages and honestly some of them may never get to yours. I took my brothers suggestion and kind of had a portion of my messages that describe myself and something interesting to about my profile. It helped when you didn't have to write a completely original message from beginning to end since you'll likely be messaging a whole lot.

    I personally don't see the harm in it but examine yourself to see if you feel you're in a good spot to start dating.
  7. JustOnePair

    JustOnePair Fapstronaut

    I met my partner on Tinder. She was the first and only date I had out of it. We have been together 2.5 years. Apart from my constant P related F*** ups (trying to sort that out here) it is going well. Yet Tinder varies from place to place so I can only really comment on the country I am in.

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