Need some support

Stopping PMO is pretty crucial as it will reduce your anxiety and make you more attuned to your partner. For myself, I had the same thing going on for a long time, I was prescribed, viagra, cialis, beta blockers, and one other one I can't remember, but none of them worked. It took a long time and a lot of frustration to get better. I understand the pain of letting her down, feeling terrible about yourself and then she's thinking that it's because she's not attractive enough etc..

Sometimes it is just a performance anxiety thing, wanting to be the man, get hard, show her a good time and all that. For myself, this would go away after talking about it and knowing that she's okay with it, cheesy as it sounds communicating what is going on. Another key I found for myself was focusing on her pleasure entirely and forgetting about myself. Take the pressure off, tell yourself 'it doesn't matter if I get it up or not' and don't beat yourself up. When your thoughts start going down that road it's game over. Dick isn't working... I really need this to work right now.. why won't it work right now.. fuck.. and then you want to smash a hole in the wall.

Give yourself a ton of slack and don't worry if it happens or not. Tell her you're nervous or whatever and let her know what's going on. Repeated exposure typically helps, the more often you're sexual with that girl, the more comfort you will develop and you won't be worried and have a million ridiculous thoughts running through your head killing your boner.