Need to quit PMO ASAP!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by tznk, Oct 17, 2019.

  1. tznk

    tznk Fapstronaut

    So, I've been addicted to PMO since I was 10~11 yo. Today I'm 22. Half of my life I've been struggling to quit it, because I always knew PMO was something harmful, disrespectful and that it affects my self-esteem, confidence, motivation, etc etc.
    I've had some successful streaks - 1 month, 2 months, even a year! - but I always come back to square one, I always relapse and it gets harder and harder to keep long streaks.
    At my 18's, I discovered what real sex was, and instead of making me forget P and focusing on the real life, it made my urges even stronger, because of the memories I have, situations I remember and so on.
    Nowadays I'm engaged, I really love my fiancée, but I also consider myself an addict to sexual behaviors, PMO and also sexting with other girls. It makes me hate myself... I feel like the worst person ever, because it is not that I want someone else, is that I feel that my body asking for more and more.
    I just want to stop... I just want to be loyal, I just want to have natural sexual thoughts, relations and talks with my beloved one.
    It is so hard... my mind triggers me.
    I've read some stuff about the Coolidge effect, and it defines me. And PMO makes it even stronger, the need of having hot talks with different girls, watching hours of P, then MO'ing.
    I'm trying, I go to the gym, I try to run away from bad thoughts, try to do things with my friends as much as I can, but somedays, even at work, at the gym, doing anything else, my mind is full of sexual thoughts. Even doing something important - in public, with other people - , I can't stop thinking about other girls, of P scenes, and so on.
    I will never stop trying, but it makes me sad, that it is not the real ME who wants and fantasize with other girls, however, it makes me feel awful...
  2. Two_Brains

    Two_Brains Fapstronaut

    I’ve been looking at porn for half my life also, and I’m 41.

    you can succeed at nofap my friend but maybe a line in the sand or event would help you, such as starting to attend SAA if possible.

    I personally think that success is only attainable if we share our problem with others and talk through with them how we are feeling.

    stay strong, keep fighting the good fight!
    tznk likes this.
  3. Ronila

    Ronila Fapstronaut

    You are doing typical things, you disassociate yourself from your behavior.
    My mind triggers me,
    My mind is full of sexual thoughts

    I am good, but my mind, environment or something else is bad. So I am a victim.
    I try but I am always victimized.

    People with abuse do this separation of themselves from what they are doing, this allows them to continue the behavior without triggering strong emotions like anger and resentment towards themselves.
    This separation also allows them to remain inactive, as it is not them who is responsible.
    People maintain this state to the end sometimes, never taking responsibility. They say society should change and "Ban Porn" so they will no longer be victimized.
    Your mind is yours, take responsibility for it all of it.
    You do everything - you, not your mind, or some other evil - YOU.

    Your thoughts and behavior, simply reflect what you have been thinking and doing the most, nothing more.
    Your thoughts and desires are habits as much as your actions.
    there are well defined methods for changing habits,
    ReachForTheSkies and tznk like this.
  4. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

    Please reveal this very serious addiction to your fiancé.
    It is completely irresponsible and unfair for you to keep this from her.

    Maybe some transparency and honesty will help you to overcome this.
    ReachForTheSkies and tznk like this.

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