Need to stop being Insecure

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Average2Alpha, Dec 30, 2018.

  1. Average2Alpha

    Average2Alpha Fapstronaut

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    I had a couple of friends who kinda betrayed me and left me. I am now very quiet around people because of the fear of judgement from others. I have a hard time connecting with people as i feel insecure around them.

    I have been going to the gym for 1 month now. I did compliments from girls and people that i'm good looking but i can't seem to stop being insecure.

    Any thoughts would be helpful.
     
    theoptimist likes this.
  2. Insecurity is hard to beat...I've been fighting it a long time.
     
  3. Lostbutfound

    Lostbutfound Fapstronaut

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    You gotta go talk to people brother, learn what works and doesn't work, keep building your security and go from there.
     
    Average2Alpha likes this.
  4. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Don't have fuckboys as friends.
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    What you're afraid of is what would happen if you let go of that excuse and allowed new people and experiences into your life. What's the alternative? Live a safe, uneventful, and comfortable life in isolation until you die?

    You feel insecure because you need something from other people (acceptance / validation / approval) and you're afraid that you won't get it from them. Because you feel entitled to feel good all the time, to have everything work out in your favor, and to have everyone accept you. You're basically out of touch with how reality works. Which is that there are possibilities of both positive and negative experiences. There's no guarantees and everything is a risk. Even not taking a risk (which is what you're doing) is a risk because of all the opportunities you're missing in life.

    Victim minded people like to talk about how their friends / parents / whoever did this and that... this and that happened in the past... I don't have this or that... if only things were different... but they never take actual responsibility for their life. Yes, your old friends did that to you, but it's you who keeps you from moving on everyday. It's you who chose this way to perceive and react towards that event to create the life that you have now. It's you who keeps replaying the past because you can't accept reality. You can't accept that sometimes life is unfair. You can't accept that it's you who has to do something about your life rather than blaming others. It's you who isn't living a life that he's proud of so he needs other people to validate him.

    Insecurity and past events is just something people like to hide behind so that they can feel good about not taking charge of their life.

    If you want this to stop, then take responsibility. I don't know how long it's been since your old friends betrayed you, but today... this present moment... it's your fault for where you are in your life.
     
  6. theoptimist

    theoptimist Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry it's very normal,I also felt insecure during my first month but my time it get's better
     
    Average2Alpha likes this.
  7. Average2Alpha

    Average2Alpha Fapstronaut

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    Wow, your words just facinated me. I never looked at it that way. I gotta accept the reality and move on. Thanks
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.

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