Need your help

[PhilippB]

Hello brothers,

I really need your help and don’t know what to do anymore.

So my situation is the following:

I have been watching and edging hours long to femdom, IR porn, sissy, etc (also “normal porn” ) and have been chatting on sexchats.

I am attending therapy (we are working on my past and traumas etc) since last year and am also taking antidepressants since mai 2024.

Since June I have a girlfriend and we really connect very vell and are also very sexually attracted to each other.

When I am with here it is as if my addiction is gone and the triggers nearly never occur and its easy to say no to porn and sexchats.

She is living with me most of the time (remote work) but every other week she has to go to the office.

Everytime she leaves the triggers start to get very strong and I start getting sad the first day shes gone and start edging to porn (femdom, sissy, IR) again.

The urge to use the sexchat again is also very gripping and I neary did it but I refuse because I have a bad feeling about it because of my girlfriend.

So I dont know what to do anymore..

Does it take more time until the addiction fades away and when I have worked on my past traumas more?

I am also a Christian, so if you have some advice how I can fight my addiction with god then don’t hesitate to tell me.


Thanks for your advice!

Stay strong.

 

[babyyoda]

Hello PhilippB. It is very good you are seeking therapy. I think that will help. It sounds like when she is not there you become lonely so you resort back to what you normally do. In my opinion you need to make a small change. I would suggest this, go take a walk outside every time she leaves. Anything other than staying in your apartment/house because you have associated her leaving with watching porn. That's the trigger, and it needs to be changed and avoided if possible. Or take a drive somewhere. Can be anywhere. Just do anything other than staying in the apartment/house. I hope this helps you brother.

 

[PhilippB]

Hello PhilippB. It is very good you are seeking therapy. I think that will help. It sounds like when she is not there you become lonely so you resort back to what you normally do. In my opinion you need to make a small change. I would suggest this, go take a walk outside every time she leaves. Anything other than staying in your apartment/house because you have associated her leaving with watching porn. That's the trigger, and it needs to be changed and avoided if possible. Or take a drive somewhere. Can be anywhere. Just do anything other than staying in the apartment/house. I hope this helps you brother.

Hello,

thanks for your good advice brother.

The problem is that my girlfriend is gone for several days and most of the triffers happen at night.

Do you have any idea what I could do? Or will time and therapy heal my inner wounds and it just takes time?

 

[babyyoda]

It will take time, but of you want to change it will take effort on your part. I would try cutting it down less if you can at first and set a time limit. I also suggest doing a 5 minute rule. Wait 5 minutes before you consume it and see if the urge disappears. If you handle 5 minutes, keep extending the length of time before you consume it. This was one of the advice my therapist gave me. It can help. But brother it will take time to heal. So don't beat yourself up if you don't see improvements right away. Keep trying, small steps to recovery.

 

[Deleted Account]

Hello brothers,

I really need your help and don’t know what to do anymore.

So my situation is the following:

I have been watching and edging hours long to femdom, IR porn, sissy, etc (also “normal porn” ) and have been chatting on sexchats.

I am attending therapy (we are working on my past and traumas etc) since last year and am also taking antidepressants since mai 2024.

Since June I have a girlfriend and we really connect very vell and are also very sexually attracted to each other.

When I am with here it is as if my addiction is gone and the triggers nearly never occur and its easy to say no to porn and sexchats.

She is living with me most of the time (remote work) but every other week she has to go to the office.

Everytime she leaves the triggers start to get very strong and I start getting sad the first day shes gone and start edging to porn (femdom, sissy, IR) again.

The urge to use the sexchat again is also very gripping and I neary did it but I refuse because I have a bad feeling about it because of my girlfriend.

So I dont know what to do anymore..

Does it take more time until the addiction fades away and when I have worked on my past traumas more?

I am also a Christian, so if you have some advice how I can fight my addiction with god then don’t hesitate to tell me.


Thanks for your advice!

Stay strong.

Hi Philipp! I am a Christian as well, the only advice that I can give you is this. Every night you get these urges (assuming you don't in the daytime, but you can also do them during the day) talk with Him, maybe you have been ignoring Him, maybe you only approach Him when needed, but talk to Him like you would a friend. It's what I did and that's why I am able to escape the grip of this addiction because of Him (God; also capitalize the first letter of His name for respect). Submit yourself to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you. this verse alone sparked something in me to trust Him and I let Him heal me, so let Him heal you Philipp. If you want to know the verse, it's James 4:7. A lot of people in this forum (just in my observation) don't have a relationship with God in their lives but He is the answer to this problem, He can destroy lust in our lives if we let Him.