needed some help from Christians, as a Christian struggling with fornication

you may have to spend some time away from women, to beable to go through sexual transmutation. When you learn to control your sexual energy you`ll beable to resist a cute girl. How are you interacting with these women you see?

 

Well according to Scripture, God will reward you if wait on the right woman, He rewards righteousness. Eg. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+2:29&version=ESV and https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Peter+3:14&version=ESV. Do you have a Christian friend who you can pray with or a men's group in church that you can talk to and pray with about your struggles?

 

Why does Paul ask Christians to act morally? To behave in a certain way? It's not because our actions make us righteous in God's sight - Paul knows as well as anyone that following laws does not do that.

Philipians 3:7 "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ."

An entire life of following the rules as well as anyone, and Paul now considers it a loss. According to Paul, we are to behave in a manner worthy of the calling we have received. We have been called to be followers of Christ, God incarnate, come to earth to be humbled and spit on for our sake, out of the bottomless mercy and love of God for us.

Ephesians 4:1 "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received."

God, out of his mercy, reconciled us to Him. We were the offending parties and still, God, out of love, suffered and was humiliated for us, to offer us salvation from sin and the flesh. When we believe, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit and we are born again - not to continue with the old life, but to put off the old self and put on the new. We are given a new heart and the Holy Spirit and righteous behavior ought to be the fruit of this change. It should come naturally, but we are also commanded to do it.

There are two reasons I can think of that we should behave according to the Christian morals laid out for us in the New Testament. One, is out of appreciation for the tremendous thing God has done for us, although this can be hard to remember in the moment of temptation. Second, is that the Christian moral code is there for our benefit. God loves us and has given us these teachings so that we may have a good life. Trust in God - that he loves you and wants the best for you - otherwise, why would he have offered us salvation?

We don't need to prove ourselves to God by being sexually moral - we can never live to his standard - but we can at least prove to God that we love Him and appreciate what He has done for us and that we trust Him to guide us.

1 Corinthians 6:18 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

I'm no preacher and I'm far from perfect myself - I doubt I can inspire. Read the scriptures and pray - the Holy Spirit will guide you. Grieve it not with sexual immorality.

Don't just skim the scriptures - spend hours on a passage and read commentary and dive in. It can be hard to motivate to do it - fortunately I lead a small bible study which requires me to put in 5-10 hours a week of scripture time. If you can get involved in something like this at your church - do it.

Also - I'll say a prayer for you brother.

 

I have the same problem, trying to go the narrow way with God in all areas in life and one of the hardest is POM.
Want to exchange my bad sources woth Gods good sources and get my energy and pleasure from God.
Ok, I want friends too and some food but I´m gfoing for God now.

Iguess the way is time with God, being part of a church (it helps, I really trhink it does) and taking a day at a time, sometimes a minute.
Hope it goes well with you, Sir!

 

If there's one scripture that will help you I think it's Romans 12:2, 'Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind'. I think renewing your mind or rewiring your brain is the key to being free. Those of us who look lustfully at women and fornicate have a mindset that goes: (A) feeling horny = (B) looking at porn, masturbating, one night stands. Instead A=B, A should = C - C being doing something else. I'll give you an example. The other night I woke up and these feelings of desire and lust came to me. I was tempted to masturbate to a fantasy but all of a sudden I thought to myself, 'No I don't want this fantasy because it's wrong'. I turned on my side and after a few minutes I was a sleep again. Now in the past I would have given into it but I decided there and then that I did want it.

The trouble is we've conditioned our mind to think that having a desire means we must act on the desire but it's not true, you don't need act on the desire. Sure it can hard at times but it's possible to resist and in fact at times it can be easy. You just have to look at the whole thing differently. Sexual temptation doesn't last long, it may feel like it lasts forever but it doesn't. That's the truth is when we change the way we think it can only last for 3 or 4 seconds. We change the way we think by viewing sexually acting out for what it is. Here's the truth: Sexually acting out hurts others and ourselves, it causes us to be untrustworthy and have no integrity, it can destroy careers and relationships and it causes us to dehumanise women.

One thing that has helped me lately is viewing women as human beings. Recently, I've been listening to a song about the value of women, I've shared some of the lyrics on another part of forum but here are the opening lines:

She is not something to only take to use up and throw away,
To consume and masturbate to.
Not a doll, not a toy on a string,
Not a pretty little thing you can tie up to please you.

To be honest it's difficult to listen to without crying because it describes how I've viewed women.
Every time I'm tempted to relapse I remind myself that every woman is human being with feelings and isn't there to be consumed and masturbated to, and it stops me dead in my tracks. I think I'm finally mastering this after so many years of failure, but I don't want to speak too soon since I'm only day 5 currently.

I think many of us who've or still view women lustfully don't hate women, we just separate a womans body from her soul. But the fact is her soul and body are connected. Every woman has feelings, thoughts and dreams. We separate them but in reality they're never separated.

I remember over ten years ago there was this song by the indie rapper Mr. J. Medeiros about porn addiction and it's links to human trafficking.
He said this regarding porn:

It’s his time to go get her
It’s like his mind doesn’t know better
Her soul is crying out, “Let me go.” but he won't let her
He got her trapped inside his media player
Held captive by his need to replay her
It’s a matter of he being here and she being there
That’s why he doesn’t feel the need to care


Because we separate ourselves from the woman we lust after, we don't feel the need to care. Naturally as people we tend to not care about those we can't relate to and porn and any form of lust takes us to place were the womans any reliability is taken away.

It's not easy because we've formed habits. I heard that Mr. J. Medeiros song over 10 years ago but it didn't automatically make me stop. We need to continually work on ourselves. We need keep practising renewing of our minds. For I've been looking at porn for 18 years and been masturbating for 23, so I'm going up against 23 years think A and doing B. I believe change isn't easy but it's possible if we never give up and work on changing the way we think.

 

Keep fighting the good fight!