Neurology of Fetishes, Kinks, and Sexual Deviance

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by More2Life, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. More2Life

    More2Life Fapstronaut

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    Sadly, I'm no neurologist and there doesn't seem to be much published articles on the causes of sexual deviance (Paraphilia). I do, however, have some subjective experience and found one credible article that has some useful information about paraphilia that is supported by my own experience.

    The article states “People with paraphilia seem to have grown up in dysfunctional environments and to have had early sexual experiences that limited their ability to be sexually stimulated by consensual sexual activity.” (link at bottom of thread) The point that stuck out to me was the factor of age in the development of paraphilia, as my own strange sexual desires started very young. There is also research out there into how many pedophiles were sexually abused as a child.

    I discovered ejaculation in a very non-traditional way, before puberty (maybe 3rd grade?), when I was stuffing my clothes with blankets and pillows like I was fat. I found enjoyment from the idea of being helplessly fat to the point where I couldn't move. I first discovered this enjoyment through harmless play with other children where one of us would be fat, or be a girl, and stuff our clothes to fit the part.

    This early start on the exposure to ejaculation frightened me as I had no idea what was happening and didn't learn about sex until maybe 2 years later. I couldn't even produce seamen until about another 2 years or so. This early start, I believe, caused the neurological circuits in my brain to develop abnormally. I got off to thoughts of becoming fat, becoming a girl, being absorbed by or turned into a body part of another person, and even being eaten by fictional beasts or animals... I know it's pretty out there.

    Since puberty, I have always been emotionally (and sexually) attracted to pretty women. This feels as though it stems from a more natural and healthy part of my brain. This took some serious soul searching to verify, as I had bi-curious tendencies with desires of transforming into a girl and being submissive often. I had to open myself up to the thought of liking guys in order to see, and I found that I was not attracted to males at all but was attracted to becoming, or transforming into, a girl. The desires all had heavy submissive undertones and it was especially fulfilling when I imagined it being involuntary.

    When I get off to anything along the kinkier side of my sexuality, it feels much darker and actually evil compared to when I got off to the thought of someone I truly had feelings for. The meaning and pleasure associated with the two felt entirely different. One was pure and beautiful, and the other was indulgent and very addictive.

    The basic, dumbed down psychology of habit forming can be described as such: Neurological pathways that lead to a dopamine/serotonin release become easier to open the more you open them. Also the more quick and prompt the release of the neurotransmitter, the more addictive the process is. This is supported by much literature on addiction I'm not going to bother looking up to cite. I think that our ability to pleasure ourselves, if not kept in check, activates much quicker than the long and difficult process of trying to get layed.

    I believe it's possible to skew your own sexual neurological pathways in a similar manner as basic habbit forming by associating certain things with sexual pleasure. For whatever reason, I and many others, have a proclivity to developing newer and stranger attractions to satisfy our indulgent desires as we become accustomed to the current ones. This can be as harmless as simple sexual exploration, but in the mind of someone prone to addictive tendencies, it can be a slippery slope into a dark, strange, and bottomless pit. This tendency to dive deeper into ones own imagination and stretching the possibilities to be associated with sexual desire I believe can cause any person with addictive tendencies to become lost, confused, and helpless. Also, any thoughts or actions that lead up to the act have their neuro pathways opened more and more each time, making it hard to dissociate sexual acts from the prior thoughts that lead to it. This may also be an insightful idea into why some people have a hard time getting off in bed but no problem while masterbating, as the ritual leading up to the act between the two are very different and so are the neural pathways.

    I'm no expert and much of this is speculation or subjectively based but I would like to gain some feedback on what others think about this. If anyone has any insight, opinions, or experience it would be appreciated to better understand the nature of sexual deviance.


    Link to academic article on paraphilia:
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...-male/201403/unacknowledged-harm-masturbation
     
  2. More2Life

    More2Life Fapstronaut

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    Hard to say but probably some time in middle school so maybe like 12ish? I didn't really start watching it frequently until like 15 tho because my imagination was already powerful enough to let me cum 4-5 times in a night in some cases
     
  3. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    It would depend if the fetish is masochistic. In men I would guess it usually is and anxiety is the cause of it. There's actually quite a lot of articles about masochism.

    https://theshoeman647325124.wordpress.com/category/medicalisation/
    "Odynophilic (masochistic) pleasures derived from pain trigger a reaction from the autonomic nervous system."

    https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326090.php
    "Serotonin inhibits impulsive behavior, while dopamine enhances impulsivity."

    This article says a lack of serotonin can cause "masochistic tendencies".
    https://globalharmonycrew.com/test/serotonin-deficiency-test/jgi902569a4534aec310c646c28e78a49b7/

    https://link.springer.com/article/10.2165/00023210-199503010-00002
    "Based on the available animal and clinical literature, diminished central serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine; 5-HT) neurotransmission may be involved in the aetiology of human sexual impulse disorders."
     
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  4. More2Life

    More2Life Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply! very insightful and i appreciate the references. I find it intriguing how dopamine and serotonin have such conflicting effects on impulsivity
     
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  5. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    If the feminization fetish is still a problem for you I have a thread in my profile that might help.
     
  6. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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