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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by BlackKnight, Feb 19, 2016.
Thank you, man!
Wtf? This doesn't even make any sense. First all that "alpha"/socially retarded behavior, and then you're all of a sudden supposed to apologize and say "I'm sorry, could we chill of something?". Wouldn't that be a "beta" move?
That shows that he doesn't have any clue about what he's talking about. If he isn't a troll, I feel bad for the guy.
(Just to clarify, of course there is nothing wrong with apologizing if you've done something wrong. But in the "alpha/beta" worldview of the fuckboys, it would be considered a "beta" move. So it wouldn't make any sense to end your prepared "alpha"-speech with an apology).
@IamMike gave very good advice above.
You know, I can relate to you a lot my friend. In high school I had a crush on a girl who I thought was leagues ahead of me: top of her class, kind, cute (had all the features I had as preferences), and a great personality to boot. This girl was also my friend, and I was head over heels for her. She made me feel good about myself, but I just didn't think it was going to work, I eventually sabotaged my opportunity to ask her out. In fact, during my first and last date with her, I set up the date perfectly. I picked her up with a rose, ate dinner at a nice restaurant, visited city hall that was decorated for the holidays, and took her to see fireworks at a pier. When the fireworks were going, and the day was about to end, she had to hint to me to ask her out. I was super-duper dense at the time and could not even think about muttering the words. So, I took her home and that was it. Now, that is embarrassing. I still think about her sometimes to this day, but I know that she is seeing someone. Sometimes I wish I said something, I definitely wish I heard about NoFap before it even happened. I love her, even as a friend, even if she doesn't know how hard it is to accept what happened that day. She will never know, and I will never tell her. But, I don't regret it because I wasn't ready. And according to what you wrote, it doesn't sound like you're ready to be in a relationship.
At best, I would suggest you try dating. About the girl you like, all I have to say is get to know her as a friend. Sure she can trust you and not other guys, but do you know if this is because she sees you as a best friend or as a potential lover? If she sees you as a friend, then I suggest getting to know her. There are books on how to create an attraction or figure out if you both have good chemistry together and I suggest you read about it. Before you make any moves, I suggest racking up at least a week of hardmode, no PMO because you will need the confidence to pull off anything. When I mentioned that you didn't sound like you were ready to be in a relationship, I meant that you weren't comfortable in your own skin. If you can't take care of your own emotions/self, then how do you expect to take care of your partner? You will end up being the clingy type even if you successfully become an item with her. Another thing to note is about your transition to college. Say you do become an item together, can you handle a long distance relationship? It will be very hard if you can't. Not to mention, she may have other plans when she goes to college herself. So, what does this all mean? Well, you need to evaluate if it's worth it. When you get to college, you will have many more opportunities to date or get into a relationship than high school. You've already passed the high school dating experience too (seeing as you haven't dated during your earlier years in high school).
So, you really can't lose anything if you ask her to go on a date with you. Dating is required to find out whether you two are compatible with each other in the first place. You can have a crush on someone and not know who they really are on the inside. She also doesn't have anything to lose if she's going to move onto college too. The lesson is, if you wait too long your opportunity will be gone, and it may be your last one. I don't know your relationship, and according to your previous posts it seems you can't find that opportunistic "alone time". Since you're still friends though, you can ask her if she wants to hang out with you. If she says no, maybe she's not comfortable with being alone with you yet. If she says yes, then great. I think the media is partly to blame for finding that perfect moment to confess your feelings, so I will be blunt. When you're already talking to her and are ready, tell her that you have a confession to make. Proceed to spill your guts, fully exposed. Then follow up with asking her on a date. A date is not an ultimatum that requires her to say that she feels the same way or not. It gives her the opportunity to find out if her feelings are that of a friend or potential partner as well. Maybe she was waiting for you to say that too, and she was the shy one after all. It may initially be nerve wracking to pull it off, but it will be worth it. Even if she turns your request down, at least you will find out if she reciprocated your feelings too. So, put your junk down for a week or two, and go for it! Or you will probably regret it for the rest of your life, or until you accept it and move on.
One last thing, if she is surrounded by friends it is not the opportunistic time to ask her out on a date. She must be alone and free from anything that may make her behave differently. Being in a group changes the playing field. Also, if you can't call her to hang out because she's too busy, then you should ask her while you're at school. Just make it casual like you need some folder paper or something. Then say that you actually just needed to meet her then confess. Just find enough time to be alone with her to confess while no one is around.
Thanks I'll most likely do just that
God damn it, I'm so weak, and the things is, I'm tired of feeling this way and I don't have any idea what to do. I can barely last a day from porn and masturbation,and its severely affecting my relationships with girls and every time, as you all know, I feel like total shit when I masturbate, but its like I can't control it at all, like my body acts entirely on its own, with me sitting helplessly watching. Physical weakness isn't the issue, but its the mental sie of things that fucks me up. I overthink everything, and feel too scared to tell a girl my true feelings.
So, I'm going to give this one more try and hope for better results
I hate myself for feeling this way,and I don't know what to do in this situation
Ask her at school. Set your first counter to 7 days instead of 14, you'll only discourage yourself too. Get more sleep, and try to reduce your pmos to once a day before you sleep. Try making your bed after waking up every day, that small victory will start your day on a high note (I read about this before and it worked).
Ha! You sound like me! Except I'm 18. And ever since I got rejected from my first crush I've been a quivering ball of sadness that doesn't leave the house.
The way I got over it was me realizing that there were way more girls out in the world, and crying over one would do me no good at all
I believe most of my worries stem from insecurities about my dick size
How many times must people be told: size does not matter, what matters is what you do with it. Have confidence. Girls will like it.
I must never masturbate ever again, all it has done is destroy me inside and out
I think you may need to calm down. You will never quit with that attitude. Ignore your failures and keep trying. I haven't done anything with a girl either. At 17, you don't need to have done anything with a girl. Wouldn't you rather wait for someone special anyway?
we should all watch this
HAHAHAHA GOLGO, it's not the girl that got turned out this time, IT WAS ME!! LOLL Amazing post.