Never get hard on first times

I have this curse that every time I get to have sex with a new girl, I never succeed to have a boner.
It usually gets better if I see the girl again multiple times but on the first intercourse, it just never works.

I am really aroused and really want to give it to her after foreplay and such but my dick just seems disconnected, it doesn't respond and I have no feeling in it.

I have been thinking about stress and I also noticed that being used to masturbating almost daily, girls tend to have a very hard time giving me pleasure during foreplay so I usually end up by jerking myself off to get hard and then proceed to the penetration part.
But then again even with my own skill and knowledge of my body I just can't get hard on the first time..

The worst part is that I know that even if I ace the date and get to have sex, I will perform poorly later on. It is a vicious circle because it tanks my confidence before even reaching the bedroom.


So appart from "relax", do you guys and girls have any advice?