I'm 50 days in and it's been a hard journey. I've been able to form this beautiful relationship through the help of God. Everything is going well and we tell each other how much we love each other. This has helped rise my will power and now I'm doing and trying new things that I never have before. This is a healthy relationship where we don't plan to have sex anytime soon. This is our first time in a relationship so we are both learning as we get to know each other. Here's the problem... Every time we express our love for each other it's like a high... I stop worrying and I feel amazing... But that slowly fades as anxiety and loneliness kick back in and bad thoughts take over. I know I have nothing to worry about but when communication with her stops my mind starts running. Everything is going well in the relationship it's just I stress myself out for no reason. I have suffered from many rejections and this is why I think my mind is doing this to me. I get great relationship advice from my father. But right now I feel lonely and lost. I also feel like every time I hit a mile stone, for example 50 days, I reach a low point and sink into loneliness. It's like I'm swimming and suddenly I find myself summered in water struggling for air.