new 30 day challenge-experience-story share

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by othellohunter, May 20, 2019.

  1. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    Hi team.
    At mid30s over 10 years married found my self being addictive in PMO. And it is exactly what I read in the articles.
    It started with minor things at when I was a little like 14 or 15.
    Maybe not hardcore, the some lesbian things the I wanted more and more intense reading the point that I needed to see anal or DP or more in order to be erected not even strong as I had the bad habit of squzing the head only.
    Because of that manybporn watched I was having sex and was thinking of my stars. Or very intense scenes. Like brutal.

    On top of that. Nipples. Another thing that triggers me. I need to touch my needles to have erection or help it out or having the pleasure.
    Another addictive thing. As the breast even in men produces different types of hormones that inhibits dopamine. I thing having then touch by partner is fine but when you do it your self and simultaneously you watch porn, M and touching your nipple that's a huge problem.

    Cannot remember my self not being addictive over the last years. But I think the last year it became worst and I 've stared realising that it has gone way too far. Months now if not years every single night I watch porn and M without even have the will to. Like a habit.
    Even overdoing it sometimes like squeezing my Penis out. Without the need of having erection I was M. I 've reached over the last few months to the point tha that I was thinking of porn at work.
    The very sad thing is that I 've always doing M. Sometimes even after having sex. But was having both like a balance. But over the last month it went way too far.
    What scared the sh*** out of me is that I experienced ED.
    So that was the point I realised enough is enough. I either change now or that it's I will end up depressed anxious, probable will develop alcohol addiction too and who knows what else.

    From memory I recall that I tried again in the past to quit PMO probably over 10years ago. But obviously slept over.

    Now I realise what I 've done to my self and I really hope it's not to late for me.

    So to begin with I m now at day 10 and everything I 've read are so true in regards to symptoms.

    Day 1 to 3 I was having erections touching my P but not cumming. That was before i took my decision but I did not fully M nor cum so I count them.
    Day 4 was the ED when I said enough.
    Day 4 to 7 nothing important no symptoms at all actually.
    On day 7 though I had a minor slip due to bad luck. My eye caught a pornstar that I follow since always that she had quit and came back dynamic that she was having her 2nd shoot since came back and Google it. But did not M nor seen a movie but only pics. I managed to resits. (Even now I have triggers just because I mention her).
    Day 8 and 9 I have so many activities that could not even think of symptoms. Maybe fatigue.
    But day 10 killed me. I indeed felt like I needed a drug or something.
    I could not stay in a place at my work. I could not concentrate. I was vigilant and it was like someone was squeezing my body and penis.
    I feel like butterflies in the stomach. A common symptom of anxiety.
    I have the need to peruse my toes.
    And being sight deeply like relieved.
    My impression is that this overactivity happens because of testosterone retention.
    I will be updating you and I hope that our stories may lead to educate young adults about this hidden addiction lead to poor health status.
    That was my like 15years story. I see That it s not unique and I take strength from other succefull fellas.
    Please share me your thoughts.
    PS. I m a psychologist!!!!! I know I took the hard way
    PS2. I really thing that Porn and Mastrubation should be treated different as 2 separate addictions.
     
  2. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Imonastreak , @coolsumit10 , @abcsuper111 , @MichaelD22 , @hairlesschewbacca , @othellohunter !

    All starting out ... good decision.

    Some thoughts for you all.

    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's (noFAP) home page. It includes answers to your questions as well as providing helpful advice as you get started on your journey of healing. Also check out the "Glossary" in the toolbar on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be unfamiliar to you.

    Read, make a plan for your journey focusing on your goals and objectives - the reasons why you are pursuing noPMO (primary one may be to normalize relationships with your gf ...). Whatever your reasons and goals are is fine, as long as they are something you truly believe in and are willing to work hard towards. Writing down goals sometimes helps clarity of thought, so consider writing out your goals. Then think about what you will do to keep your goals fresh in your mind each day - reading your written goals at least twice a day as you get started is a good way to help remind yourself why you are here !

    There are more things, but for now this is enough to get you started. If you have questions or concerns for which you can't find answers here, just post and you'll get replies !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    coolsumit10 and MichaelD22 like this.
  3. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    Day 11 or day 8 since decision made.
    Just woke up. Similar to how I went to bed. With the squeeze feeling in all over the body knees like someone wants totals them off and stomach like something is inside.
    No need to watch porn though. All theae actually not even the day I felt over.

    But I have a huge need for cum not erection not erection though.

    From a scientific prospective all these are knew and not previously published in health journals.
     
  4. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    One week after.
    I think I m very lucky. Very very lucky.
    I feel great. I m getting back to how I remembered my self. Interestingly I have no desire to see pork anymore. I had this only the first week and slipped on day 5 but ever since none.
    On top of that, I met a lady. We were flerting. After many years (I know I m married please dont judge) I had the willing to flert again and actually try to date with the lady.
    I think that was me sign of recovery. Not full but going well.
    So to sum up:
    Major symptom was day 10. When I was like vigilant and like butterflies in the stomach. As a professional I know these symptoms are linked to mild anxiety. Bu tf was only temporary and due to increased and/or hormones imbalance.

    2nd personally did not find hard to quit pork especially after those articles that I 've read. I had a minor slip but was only because of curiosity and did not lead to fap.

    3rd erections in the morning as usual

    4th after 3 weeks when flerting had lots of confidence.

    I m positive all good.



    Apart of that I
     
  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    "Curiosity" is likely what lead you to P in the first place. While curiosity can be a wonderful thing - it can lead to new, helpful, beneficial things - it can also be a force of destruction, such as when you get curious and go looking at P.

    This time.

    When you go looking for trouble, and looking at P is definitely looking for trouble, you will generally find it and the results won't be good. You didn't PMO this time. But if you continue with indulging your curiosity seeking P, you will surely fall to relapse. Nobody wants that to happen, so focus your curiosity in constructive, healthy, areas.

    There is simply no reason for you, or anyone else, to be looking at P. There is nothing good, up-lifting, beneficial, constructive, or good about P. So, avoid it .

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    othellohunter likes this.
  6. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    I agree in all you say. After all curiosity killed the cat said by the wise.
    But as mentioned it was only once writhin the first week and ever since I do not have any desire to look P.
    Fap is another story though. I believe these two should be treated separate.
     
  7. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    I've posted this before:

    Most folks can agree on one thing: the P part of PMO is a significant problem. There is nothing good, beneficial, or redeeming about P. Nothing ! So, get rid of P from your life: permanently. Why complicate your life with something that does nothing but harm ?

    About M, and MO ... there are definitely differences of opinion about whether it is OK or not, and if done, what is an OK frequency and a whole lot of folks can, and do, have strong opinions about the subject. Read about what others say and decide what is right for you.

    Go make some good decisions about what is right for you.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    othellohunter likes this.
  8. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    Yes I agree completely.
    The thing about P is that this forum here should present these findings official and should educate people (or patients if you prefer) about these negative results.
    M whilst it could be linked to P it's not necessary.
    I think it's hard to deal with both at the same time for many people.
    Personally quitting P didn't bother me as bad as M.
     
  9. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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  10. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    Hi all.
    Here we are with updates.
    So far so good but.........
    8weeks now since I started to quitting PMO but.....

    For 7 weeks everything was great. Had no desire to look for P. Erections we're coming at any time, I only had some small M but not hard nor fast and certainly no O. I even manage to control my self after a strip club. No MO. Only M at a dance by the striker. But not O and not even 4 secs.

    Anyways. So now week 8. Had 2 slips. One last Monday one today. Both for the same reason. And had the same slip but back then was very minor. Like very minor..
    It's that actress that I am obsessed and triggered me again. I somewhere saw her new new movie post and I just could resist from searching it. So yes she had a new film and saw the trailer. Twice.
    None of these times ended in strong, fast or prolonged M and no O nay o lf these.

    Does that mean I m back to zero?
    What do you think?
    How would you recommend I could Tulane this lady out of my head?
     
  11. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    If you go looking for trouble - and make no mistake - going to strip clubs and idly searching the internet for "actresses" that you find interesting - is looking for trouble, you'll find trouble and the results won't be good.

    The answer is don't go looking for trouble. No strip clubs, no idle searching the web.

    You know at least some of your triggers. Avoiding them is the simplest way to get past them. If you can't control your urges to search the web, perhaps institute a "no screens when alone" rule at least for now.

    And stop going to strip clubs, they're degrading an de-humanizing for everybody involved !

    Also, go to the "glossary" at the top of this page and read about "Psubs".

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  12. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    I agree in everything you say.
    Strip club was unavoidable it was for a bachelor. But I was well prepared and I believe succeeded. No MO.

    About the others again agree. If you look for trouble.....
    But the fact that P was not accompanied by MO? Is it something? Because 2 months ago I recall my self not being able to control MO at all.
     
  13. othellohunter

    othellohunter Fapstronaut

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    Also Ibwant to understand what is considered relapsed and what sooo.
     
  14. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    If you haven't already done so, please read the "Getting Started Guide" available on this site's home page. It includes a lot of information that you will find helpful as you start your journey of healing. Also have a look at the "Glossary" on the top of this page for definitions of abbreviations and terms that may be new to you.

    You can also search this forum and other forums on this site (noFAP) for answers to many of your questions.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     

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