New 90 Day Reset, Month and a half wasn't enough.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Jaydee28, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. Jaydee28

    Jaydee28 Fapstronaut

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    I had a month and a half of no PMO. Then in early July I kept screwing up, the problem was I'd like myself MO, without P. Or O with my wife. I really have to have more soberity time than a month and a half. What are some tips in the heat of the moment where you just don't care and could die if you didn't PMO? What does one say? I pray.... but then I get cynical.... any physical ideas? Like do cold showers really work? How do you stop the sexual dreams at night they got so bad?
     
  2. Captain B

    Captain B Fapstronaut

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    Cold showers work for lots of people, try it out!

    If you can, go for a walk or do something else where there are people around so you cannot possibly PMO (unless you're an exhibitionist ;)).

    Do something that does not involve your computer/tablet/phone so you don't risk getting triggered. If you do want to do something on the internet, read about porn addiction, watch videos where people talk about porn addiction or do REAL talk about the porn industry - that shit's so messed up, it'll make you see porn in a whole new way.

    Get a hobby. I exchanged my PMO-time for guitar-time. Works really well and I also got better at playing the guitar :)

    If you need to get rid of a boner, flex your leg muscles. Dunno if that works for everyone but it does for me - 30 seconds or so and everything is hanging loose again.
     
  3. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    Changing what you're doing helps. If you're sitting down, go for a walk. If you're walking, get something to eat. Basically if you change what you're doing, your brain should dump the urges too.
    You may need to not go back to masturbating at all, even when you're fully rebooted. It can be just as addictive as porn, and takes sex, which is supposed to be all about giving the gift of yourself and receiving from your wife, and makes it a selfish act that's all about satisfying yourself.
     
  4. This is just my own personal view, but I just do not see the reason for anyone even wanting to go back to M after a whole, strenuous 90 day reset. Nofap turns males into super men. Why would you not want to remain in that state for the rest of your life?

    Especially considering the fact that you are married. There's especially no need to PM, at all. Just enjoy sex with your wife. We've been conditioned by society into believing that we need M when we honestly don't need it at all. When you're in a loving relationship, sex is actually good for your brain and energy. We don't need anything else.

    In the heat of the moment, all I can advise is will power, my friend. And more of it. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the only way.

    Work through your emotions and begin to analyse why you still want to M even while married. There are underlying issues there (most likely). When you feel the intense urge to M, allow your body to just sit with the emotion and just work through it, without acting on the actual desire. Let the emotion and craving pass through your body. This is called emotional processing and helps to deal with the underlying issues as to why we do what we do, and makes things easier.

    Cold showers are just a temporal fix. The urges will come back again. We need to try less to look at external things for help, and instead, go within ourselves and process our emotions. Emotional processing gets rid of things for good, while external things such as cold showers are just a temporal fix, that doesn't actually deal with the real causal emotions for our actions in the first place.
     
    Jaydee28 likes this.
  5. Jaydee28

    Jaydee28 Fapstronaut

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    Really like what your sayng and yes some of that healing is taking place right now we trying to ween me off the porn then the hand. Today I did mutual m with wife using her shirt to smell, and her face looking directly at it to recondtion myself. It's that stupid death grip I'm used to and all that desensitization. 90 days to bring the senses back to normal so I can with my wife.
     
    AlltheRageBackHome likes this.
  6. That's really beautiful what you're doing with your wife brother. That is good to hear. I'm happy for you, and I believe that you can do this. Keep up the bonding with your wife.

    I'm glad that you're working through the emotions as well. Keep it up :) (no pun intended lol!)
     
    Jaydee28 likes this.

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