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J

JeffersTommy

Fapstronaut
New to the site. I've tried stopping masterbating several times and always fail eventually. I hate it because it wastes my time and ultimately always seems to coincide with bad things happening like it's giving me bad juju. Hoping maybe a community will help me get further than my previous attempts. I pretty much accept that switching off sexual thoughts and impulses isn't happening, but I don't accept that I cannot be in control of it. So, any advice etc you all have to offer is appreciated.
 
I made it a month once before I caved. Usually when I try I get I like a week and fail. When I was younger and had the time I'd often average 2-3 timer per day, so the itch is always there.
 
Wow! A month is really good! I’m also trying to overcome my masturbation problem. I think sometimes I suffer too much by trying to make all or nothing goals. My goal of never masturbating ever again is probably never going to happen. Whenever I end my streak I’ll probably just end up feeling terrible and hopeless. I can, however, focus on one day at a time. Today is the most important day. What we do right now - today, can have an enormous effect on our future. We are constantly at a crossroads. Each day we have to choose the path that eventually will lead us to freedom. So I try not to set lofty goals. If I get through today, the streak will take care of itself. And I think that one day is a goal that most of us can achieve!
 
Jefe Rojo said:
Wow! A month is really good! I’m also trying to overcome my masturbation problem. I think sometimes I suffer too much by trying to make all or nothing goals. My goal of never masturbating ever again is probably never going to happen. Whenever I end my streak I’ll probably just end up feeling terrible and hopeless. I can, however, focus on one day at a time. Today is the most important day. What we do right now - today, can have an enormous effect on our future. We are constantly at a crossroads. Each day we have to choose the path that eventually will lead us to freedom. So I try not to set lofty goals. If I get through today, the streak will take care of itself. And I think that one day is a goal that most of us can achieve!
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I love your words, very inspiring!
 
JeffersTommy said:
New to the site. I've tried stopping masterbating several times and always fail eventually. I hate it because it wastes my time and ultimately always seems to coincide with bad things happening like it's giving me bad juju. Hoping maybe a community will help me get further than my previous attempts. I pretty much accept that switching off sexual thoughts and impulses isn't happening, but I don't accept that I cannot be in control of it. So, any advice etc you all have to offer is appreciated.
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Yes no such thing as switching off sexual thoughts.. We can only learn to live with them and realize we control them not the other way around.
 
Jefe Rojo said:
Thanks @Nauts, I see that you’re on day zero - I hope you’re doing ok. How is your NoFap journey going? Do you feel like it’s making a difference? Take care.
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I'm struggling, but I'm fine. (I often reset my counters when I peek. Peeking is bad, im sorry)

I just need discipline. I often focus on making it through 30 days, and that actually makes me relapse a lot, because I think it's too long.

Then, I thought that I didn't need to focus on the 30 day goal. But, how can I get through the day by day, one by one. Because, if I focus on one day, I can make good use of it and I hope that my 30 day goal can be achieved. (and yeah, your words is now in my 'motivation' database' hahahaha)

I can hold M, but it took a lot of effort to get away from P.
 
Nauts said:
I'm struggling, but I'm fine. (I often reset my counters when I peek. Peeking is bad, im sorry)

I just need discipline. I often focus on making it through 30 days, and that actually makes me relapse a lot, because I think it's too long.

Then, I thought that I didn't need to focus on the 30 day goal. But, how can I get through the day by day, one by one. Because, if I focus on one day, I can make good use of it and I hope that my 30 day goal can be achieved. (and yeah, your words is now in my 'motivation' database' hahahaha)

I can hold M, but it took a lot of effort to get away from P.
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You’re right, peeking IS bad. Just like edging is bad. I think people justify both behaviors but if we’re being honest with ourselves, “peeking” is still looking at pornography and edging is still masturbation, based on the dictionary definition. The only way to freedom is abstinence from both activities. I think you’re smart to never justify this behavior and you’re staying accountable by resetting your counter.

I have the same issue as you. Sometimes I look too far ahead and then can never get there.

Hang in there. It can be very discouraging at times but there is hope. Even the smallest adjustments to the way we live our lives can have an enormous impact. The task may seem too daunting. But break it down into smaller tasks. Start with a small goal. A small adjustment. Think about your last relapse and think about the circumstances in which you started peeking. Do you think you could adjust the amount of time you spend on your phone or computer?
 
Jefe Rojo said:
You’re right, peeking IS bad. Just like edging is bad. I think people justify both behaviors but if we’re being honest with ourselves, “peeking” is still looking at pornography and edging is still masturbation, based on the dictionary definition. The only way to freedom is abstinence from both activities. I think you’re smart to never justify this behavior and you’re staying accountable by resetting your counter.

I have the same issue as you. Sometimes I look too far ahead and then can never get there.

Hang in there. It can be very discouraging at times but there is hope. Even the smallest adjustments to the way we live our lives can have an enormous impact. The task may seem too daunting. But break it down into smaller tasks. Start with a small goal. A small adjustment. Think about your last relapse and think about the circumstances in which you started peeking. Do you think you could adjust the amount of time you spend on your phone or computer?
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Nice words. Love talking to you. You know, my job is graphic designer, which is, i sit in front of my computer at a long time.

I love this job, but its like a boomerang to me, it can give me a lot of benefits, and a lot of bad things too. (Ex : Looking at P)

Do you have any advice for me, to endure that temptation to not look at P?

Im 20, been looking at P maybe when im 18. (And I REALLY HOPE I DIDNT SEE IT)

How old are you? and how is your story?
 
Nauts said:
Nice words. Love talking to you. You know, my job is graphic designer, which is, i sit in front of my computer at a long time.

I love this job, but its like a boomerang to me, it can give me a lot of benefits, and a lot of bad things too. (Ex : Looking at P)

Do you have any advice for me, to endure that temptation to not look at P?

Im 20, been looking at P maybe when im 18. (And I REALLY HOPE I DIDNT SEE IT)

How old are you? and how is your story?
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Hey! Sorry for not responding sooner. I’ve been spending a lot of time with family for the holidays and completely forgot to respond.

I will respond in a separate post with some advice on how to avoid porn and some strategies that have helped me.

As for me, I’m 40 years old. I used to be addicted to porn in my 20’s but through tremendous effort I was able to overcome my addiction 11.5 years ago. :)

I am here on NoFap trying to overcome my masturbation and fetish addiction. These are things that have a negative impact on my life and I want to overcome them. My longest streak without masturbating is 99 days. My longest streak without fetishes is 420 days. I have been here on NoFap for 2 years and have kept a journal since starting here.

I hope you’re doing well!
 
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