Recently found an amazing boyfriend, been going well for 4 months now, we mainly see each other at weekends and I really want it to work. I do have a problem though, I am defo addicted to porn, I masturbate twice a day - constantly scrolling to find my next hit, it’s affectibg my work too. Before finding my boyfriend I used to visit public toilets and wank with other guys, and today I got the urge to go and hook up with a stranger. I need to stop PMO and concentrate on my relationship - save it for my boyfriend, and stop having stupid urges to masturbate in public places. Feels weird writing this down... Jay
Dude....first congratulations on the boyfriend! Second...proud of you for laying it all out there. The first step in dealing with addiction (especially sexual addiction) is to come to terms that you are struggling and be honest with yourself! So great job my friend! Next you will definitely want to start figuring out where your pitfalls are...do you struggle when you are alone? When you are frustrated or angry or sad. Times of day or specific days you struggle-this will help you find ways to combat these compulsive behaviors and replace them with positive habits. I have the same issues and have delt with the same addictions for most of my life! So YOU ARE NOT ALONE OR JUDGED! For me I thought porn helped keep me faithful but it really made it easier for these fantasies to seep into my real life...until I was doing the same stuff and going to the same places over and over again just like you. Because it’s about feeding that need and not about feeding your soul. This place is GREAT and provides you an opportunity to really be honest with yourself while finding people who will hold you accountable. Id suggest getting an AP (accountability partner) ASAP to help you deal with your sexual addiction...especially the acting out in public and stuff. Then work out a plan to rebuild your brain do that you no longer feel the need to act outside of your relationship or look at porn and masturbate all the time. Stay close my friend we are here for you.
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you. The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
Thanks very much guys. Started well, got up early and went for a swim, deleted tumblr app, and it's really good to read through the forums knowing you've all been there... Found an accountability partner so we are going to check in with each other once a week.
Welcome Jay, Im on my firsts 16 days, I hope you find your way to enjoy life. Congratz on the boyfriend!
Hi Jay, I think your optimistic approach will help you over the first few 'withdrawal' bumps! Let me know if you need a gay UK accountability partner. Not many of us on here and I know I need someone to discuss this with!