New Commitment Please Help! :)

Victoriousone

Victoriousone

Fapstronaut
Good morning everyone,

I started this journey about 342 days ago. I continue to slip up and give in to my lust. I turned 30 this past Monday and I want to make a new commitment but I already gave in to PMO before jumping back on the thread. I need help, encouragement, and guidance.

I started watching P when a friend of mine showed me some videos that he found when we were 11. Ever since then my mind has been captivated to watch and even more as I grew older.

I am a married man of 3 years. I’ve been blessed to have such a loving wife. She knows about my struggle because she came across it while we were dating and even after marriage. I have hidden it well lately so it won’t hurt her but I don’t want to live like this. I’m actually very immature in this area of my life because once I’m home alone it’s almost automatic to search for some beautiful images and relieve myself.

I know that the obvious things to do is to go out, exercise, shower, or distract myself but once the desire is in my mind I yield so easily to it. It’s really a vice that controls me. I know I need to develop new habits and plan when the feelings and desire come my way. In a way I feel like a slave or prisoner to these desires. I know the desire to seek a lovely woman and have sex is natural, hence one minor reason to being married to my spouse. It’s not just the sex or beauty but her lovely character and love. But then there’s this desire to admire beautiful woman and release sexual urges to this images that in reality are fake. Just poses to sell.

I have theory but I need to gain the experience and take action in overcoming. I need encouragement and guidance along the way and decided to check back in to this community. Any feedback and encouragement is appreciated!
 
I see you just need willpower. Everything can be said, but the most important thing is willpower.

to me it was simpler, I had pied, so I had to stop porn and masturbation in order to get back my sexuality. it wasn't simple, it took me years, but I was cornered, so I had to do something. it is worst to don't have a sexual life than to noFAP. then a better thing happens during noPMO streak, "powers" starts to come. and when you see how good progresses are, it gets more simple. it's of course hard, but it is worth it.

if it was easy this website wouldn't exist. but it can be done, and trust me, it is worth it. it's up to you choose. it's ever been up to you to choose. it's easy to follow what your body tells you to do. totally different is to tell your body what is right or not to do. and it can be extended to all things in life. take control, you are not an animal.

willpower, and to never give up. constantly trying. this is the way to success (in everything). or at least i think it's like this.

good luck man!
 
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I know how you feel. sometimes as soon as I have the urges, I feel like it's all over. Abut you just need to keep trying and never give up. It may be hard but you'll feel so much better. and you'll feel more love for your wife.
 
You can do it. Just stop all the visual triggers. It means that you can't even see text that reminds you of anything that is connected with it. You must clear out all the junk in your life, you can't sit in junk and ask, why is it so smelly here. I am single and 23, I got out, and I still have urges, believe me, I sometimes think I'm gonna fall back, but it's all my fault because I don't guard my eyes properly sometimes.
 
Victoriousone said:
Good morning everyone,

I started this journey about 342 days ago. I continue to slip up and give in to my lust. I turned 30 this past Monday and I want to make a new commitment but I already gave in to PMO before jumping back on the thread. I need help, encouragement, and guidance.

I started watching P when a friend of mine showed me some videos that he found when we were 11. Ever since then my mind has been captivated to watch and even more as I grew older.

I am a married man of 3 years. I’ve been blessed to have such a loving wife. She knows about my struggle because she came across it while we were dating and even after marriage. I have hidden it well lately so it won’t hurt her but I don’t want to live like this. I’m actually very immature in this area of my life because once I’m home alone it’s almost automatic to search for some beautiful images and relieve myself.

I know that the obvious things to do is to go out, exercise, shower, or distract myself but once the desire is in my mind I yield so easily to it. It’s really a vice that controls me. I know I need to develop new habits and plan when the feelings and desire come my way. In a way I feel like a slave or prisoner to these desires. I know the desire to seek a lovely woman and have sex is natural, hence one minor reason to being married to my spouse. It’s not just the sex or beauty but her lovely character and love. But then there’s this desire to admire beautiful woman and release sexual urges to this images that in reality are fake. Just poses to sell.

I have theory but I need to gain the experience and take action in overcoming. I need encouragement and guidance along the way and decided to check back in to this community. Any feedback and encouragement is appreciated!
Click to expand...
This is primarily an Internet Addiction. It honestly has very little to do with sex. So you need to regulate your device usage, screentime and internet access. Don't allow yourself to be alone and bored with these devices. Take away your own privacy by volunteering to be social, helpful and busy.

I wrote a post with my best advice for how to regulate your devices and change your physical environment to support healthy habits. I think it might benefit you.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-1-tip-change-your-environment.288435/
 
alphakadabro said:
This is primarily an Internet Addiction. It honestly has very little to do with sex. So you need to regulate your device usage, screentime and internet access. Don't allow yourself to be alone and bored with these devices. Take away your own privacy by volunteering to be social, helpful and busy.

I wrote a post with my best advice for how to regulate your devices and change your physical environment to support healthy habits. I think it might benefit you.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-1-tip-change-your-environment.288435/
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing. I agree with you considering I slipped up today 3x when I got home from work. I do believe it’s a habit of being on my phone and accessing websites through it.
 
Victoriousone said:
Thanks for sharing. I agree with you considering I slipped up today 3x when I got home from work. I do believe it’s a habit of being on my phone and accessing websites through it.
Click to expand...
alphakadabro said:
This is primarily an Internet Addiction. It honestly has very little to do with sex. So you need to regulate your device usage, screentime and internet access. Don't allow yourself to be alone and bored with these devices. Take away your own privacy by volunteering to be social, helpful and busy.

I wrote a post with my best advice for how to regulate your devices and change your physical environment to support healthy habits. I think it might benefit you.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/my-1-tip-change-your-environment.288435/
Click to expand...
A friend of mine recommended me to get a flip phone and take a break from my smart phone for some time but that is definitely difficult. Especially in the times that we live in where smart phone is the norm
 
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