New Depressed for some reinforcement...

I'm a guy in his 20s who just recently realized porn was a real problem and a full blown addiction with all the tell-tale signs of addiction:

1) Escalating content (starting from softcore, to hardcore, to various fetishes)
2) Defensive when asked to stop
3) Rationalizing and defending the addiction (Its no big deal, everyone does it)
4) Spending a significant amount of money on premium subscription sites

I was so heavy into porn like I was a connoisseur, knowing various studios and performers per the advice on here I deleted my massive stash which i felt OK about initially but now harbor deep regret for, I UNDERSTAND why deleting may work for a lot of guys here but it doesn't for me, because now I have this deep hatred towards porn, which i never WANTED To have even giving it up, hating something as much as I hate porn now isn't healthy for me, I regret HOW I gave it up and not working with a sex/porn addiction therapist to come up with a game plan to leave porn in a way that ultimately makes me feel good and brings closure, the deletion model just makes me very angry

I get what's done is done but porn fulfilled a need for a long time, and I regret not sort of allowing myself to have proper closure with it in a way that makes me not HATE porn but just viewing it as having outgrown it....its a much more empowering and not so negative mindset

I realize now there's no end with porn you just get trapped in video after video, and lust will never ever be satisfied...LOVE is what makes you feel satisfied, when someone loves you

 

Hi

I just had to translate your message, I don't speak Spanish could you please reply in English?

yes I agree, except for me porn elevated my self esteem I felt "cool" and "edgy" for watching it when really its neither you can be both those things without indulging in porn and lowering yourself, when you indulge in porn you're not valuing your time at all, and are letting your sexual desires control you a lot of porn even "good" porn is just garbage, the high end productions are well shot but its all part of the same industry...I agree porn is about me, me, me, what do I LIKE porn can be anyone you want if you like older women, barely legal teens, Asian, Ebony and its just like that novelty

I KNOW what TYPE of girl I'd like to date and I'd hardly ever watch the type of girl I'd like to date in porn...