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New Elite Group accepting Initiates: F.I.N.A.O.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by salvage, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    I like the concept and the military/hard-core idea. For a short time I lived in a third-world country where water was scarce in a kind of log cabin with a military roommate. Said roommate would get up early, take a quick shower, and then leave the water RUNNING while waking me up. I've always had trouble getting up in the AM and sleeping in and it's not as if I asked him for any help, but needless to say he had me fully awake and in the shower with my clothes off in a jiffy. I've always been impressed by the military ethic when I've met others later. I was also part of a group that called ourselves the all-stars, I won't say what it was but it was a regimented situation with specific rules and meetings, assignments, lots of hard work, motivation of each other, and we accomplished an enormous amount personally.

    I've struggled with PMO or related things for probably 10 years and PMO for more than 2 years. I came across the YBOP website, watched all the videos there, and made my longest streak of 14 days in several years. I recycled but then joined this forum, started posting, and starting reading positive accounts on YBOP, then had a streak of 23 days. I'm now in the midst of my worst recycle yet and am despairing of whether I will ever be free of this. I bought the book Changing for Good that someone recommended here and have started reading it and watching educational videos online. I am committed to doing whatever it takes to succeed because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life will be destroyed by PMO if I don't give it up and have already experienced the consequences in terms of relationships, financial, self-esteem, and so on. On the other hand I know it is right now impossible for me to imagine how good my life will be without PMO.

    I'm interested in joining this group if the rules can be better established, including the time period that members have to wait before re-joining in the case of a recycle. From the original rules it looks like the common goal is to not PMO which means that we won't have some who are interested in abstaining from MO and others from P, etc. Also I think a rule should be added that everyone must have a counter so that we can keep track of progress. I do think there should be a limit on entry because if we are going to be supporting each other then it will get unwieldy with too many members. New groups with the same rules can form if there are too many members for one. The other question is where the activity of the group will take place. If there is an educational component then it would seem that the group should be semi-private, especially if we are providing support to each other, but not sure how much of an accountability group this is supposed to be.
     
  2. Wade14

    Wade14 Fapstronaut

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    I would like to join, I have not had a Pmo for over 120 days and I can already feel my brain rewiring itself, I've stopped because my girlfriend left me because I watch porn. It has ruined my life and I seriously feel that if I keep watching porn it would eventually make me suicidal. So in my mind I'm thinking I can either live a happy life with no porn or be a bastard that keeps fucking up his life and watch porn for a Shitty short dopamine fix that makes me feel depressed and hate myself after I Pmo then just end my life coz it's not worth it
     
  3. omarcoming

    omarcoming Fapstronaut

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    Ah yeah I picked up that bit, I guess my emphasis was on the rejoining part while retaining the leader part.

    To echo what Vertigo has said, nice one for being open to the feedback and taking others' views on board. I hope that you have something which is still aligned to your original intention but equally supportive to all involved.

    Good luck!
     
  4. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    That is great, we have come off to a great start, we currently have 14 members in the group. I don't think that posting a limit on it would be any good, since it will regulate itself, it is not as if we have a huge volume. On top of that I can't put a rule for when a person get's to rejoin the group. After all we are all battling against ourselves, and each person should be the judge of that, however they can write to the group telling it why they are ready to rejoin, perhaps what steps they will take next time they are about to relapse, by fighting the trigger that caused it, and it should be a real attempt. Overall we want to help each other, it is primordially a group focused not just on PMO, but on becoming the type of person we want to be. In filling the gap that PMO leaves behind with positive things, things we always wanted to do but never found the time. In more cliche words it could be thought of as converting the energy of something that was bringing us down into something, good that makes us feel good. Instead of getting dopamine from PMO, we will get dopamine from doing things that make us feel good about ourselves. We all wish of the day that we will get rid of the counter, the day when we wake up and truly are that person we always dreamed of. This day is not far, we are not hoping for something that hasn't been done, it is completely accomplishable: no relapses. So if you have had the intention to join, do it, the group F.I.N.A.O. becomes what each one of us make it, just like this community has become so great by each one of our efforts.
     
  5. one32

    one32 Fapstronaut

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    I'm up for the challenge. Let's do this!

    How do your members keep their journals? On the group forum?
     
  6. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    We are still trying to get everything set up, but each member can create his own journal in the group's main page. Welcome one32, try to take advantage of our threads.
     
  7. one32

    one32 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks salvage!
     
  8. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    Slowly but surely we are getting to the purposed group size.
     
  9. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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  10. NotAfraid

    NotAfraid Fapstronaut

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    I would like to be a part of this group too! The Illuminati of NoFap heh

    I'm 100% determined to drop this habit. There is no going back for me. It's do or die this time.
     
  11. supergolum

    supergolum Fapstronaut

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    I am totally willing to become a part of this group. I have been trying to get free of this for a few months now and it seems that the "all-in" way is the best way to go for me. The extra motivation and accountability to the group will definitely be a big help for me!

    Can't wait to really start this!
     
  12. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Last edited: Apr 12, 2014
  13. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    Hello friend I like your suggestions very much. Welcome to the club as some might say!
     
  14. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to you. I've noticed that we're both at 10 days since our last reset. Keep it up, brother!
     
  15. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    I propose that we start some support mechanism for the members, as today I almost relapsed (I tell about that in my journal). Right now, I could really use it. I still need to have more days inside my basket to be in my (relatively) safe zone.

    About the distinctions: if someone here draws (by pencil and/or digital artist), he could send a secret drawing to the ones that have reached a certain period of time. Something unique; it doesn't have to be complicated, I imagine a simple sketch of an eagle. That is, something that you can't get through other means, for example, downloading it from some site. And why secret? Because that way the only way of knowing which are the awards is by achieving 10/30/60/90 days of NOFAP (like the rocks that Tim Robbins's character gives to other members in the movie "Thanks for Sharing").
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2014
  16. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    I like your idea. The only issue I have right now is trying to keep track of how many days in the counter each member of the group has accumulated. We are already at 24 members, and I have no way of finding out the whereabouts of each one. It would be great if you could still show your signature on the group forum, but right now that is the problem, once that is remedied I am sure all of your ideas would be great. I draw and would like to inspire others through my art.
     
  17. TheRealCaseyChoate

    TheRealCaseyChoate New Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I would like to join this group. I have tried this before in the past with mixed results. The longest I have gone is 20 days, which ended today when I masturbated in the shower.

    I felt so amazing connecting with women in an entirely new way. My relationships are improving, I am feeling more confident, there is more emotion in my voice, etc..

    Because of this disappointment today I have joined this forum. I am serious about making this a life long commitment. No more porn, ever.

    I started this 20 day journey taking part in an online course that teaches how to cultivate sexual energy with the ultimate goal of having a "heartgasm". An emotional release. All of this masturbation and other tension release habits are, I believe, all things we do because we don't want to feel what's really there...so we jerk it, or smoke a cigarette, or have a beer, etc..

    I realized that in this 3rd week of the course after adding in some pelvic rocking exorcises, I felt the urge to masturbate again. I believe these pelvic rocking exorcises are stirring up sexual energy and dopamine. So I won't be doing those any more.

    During the past 3 weeks I have made short vidoes nealry everyday about 5 minutes long which chronicled my experiences.

    I am glad to have found this forum so I can actually have a dialog about this instead of just speaking into a camera. It would mean a lot to me to join this group. I feel really drawn to it.

    I'm all about personal development and bettering myself and am all in for helping others as well.

    Thanks!
     
  18. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Recently (13.04.14, journal entry) I was relatively close to relapsing. Three things kept me out of it:
    -The idea of having to reset my counter.
    -The idea to emptying my marble jar (and make a fool of myself with my toy gorilla, AKA "the relapse monster").
    -The idea of leaving this group.
    I believe that the more "visible" things that you have to keeping you out from relapsing, the better. Things and people with which you have made a commitment, to whom you'll have to explain yourself the reasons of your behaviour. When your reasonable part of the brain is still working, you have half of the battle won.
    Proposal: what do you think of establishing an admission quota, such as three days of no PMO? Could that act as a motivation to reach those same days, that is, accomplishing the goal of entering FINAO?
     
  19. galaxim

    galaxim Fapstronaut

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    Here's a picture of my marbles, that are disposed in a Senku board (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peg_solitaire): http://www.imagebam.com/image/f423a5321304565
    My plan is to complete it all with one marble, that represents each day of no PMO. The big marble in the center represents my last period close to relapsing (mentally close, not physically close).
    I know, this is completely boring to read, but it's helping me right now to forget the urges. How come? Well, I had to put the marbles in place, then take them out, then take a picture and now write here. Slowly, the urges are going away.
     
  20. salvage

    salvage Fapstronaut

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    Galaxim that is such a coincidence but yes!! Your idea seems super awesomeful lol. FINAO started out about a week ago I would say although I am not completely sure. Since no one in the group must have relapsed by now, the counter should at least be 3 days for anyone wanting to join. This will increase gradually and slowly making it more challenging and at the same time motivating those outside and inside the group to keep up their efforts.
     

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