New Fapstronaut & 36yo

Hi I'm KellticJK,


I'm 36yo, I've known of NoFap for a long time, but honestly didn't think I had a problem till about 2 years ago (been trying on my own since). For the last 2 years, I have been on and off PMO, I used apps like: Manhood and Sober time but haven't been able to get past on average 4 days, my longest being 7 days. I know my weakest point in the day is in the morning (manhood tracks it).


The moment I realized I had a problem was one morning, when I woke up and unlocked my pc and saw exactly what I was looking at to get off.... the material was in the realm of bizarre and niche fetishes. At that moment, I wanted off it. I stayed away from it all for 7 days, then relapsed and jumped down the rabbit hole for 2 months. Started again and fell again. This went on for two years, during this time although I only thought my taste was well distasteful, I had no idea that I developed PIED. This came about after I picked a girl up at a bar, got home and BAM! it hit me....my fish and tackle doesn't work, I blamed it on a stressful job to the girl...she was ok with that. Again, stayed away from PMO for a few days then fell again. During this time my job was becoming more stressful, and was becoming harder to not masturbate, primarily because I worked for a London investment firm in which nearly 80% of the staff were Russian and 75% of them were women. This made it unbelievably difficult not to well fap (which I'm ashamed of now, cos a lot of them are my friends). I have since left that company due to the high stress.


Started a new job for a company not long ago, thankfully all the women that I work with are married with kids (funnily enough, I see a wedding ring and I don't see them like that). Recently, I find myself staying up all night and delving into those fetishes again, then getting to work late cos I spend my morning fapping.


I’m at a stage, where I can’t do this anymore. I haven’t had a proper relationship in almost 10 years, constantly have brain fog, feel lethargic and completely unmotivated to do anything constructive.


I have spent the last few days reading the success stories, tips, and intro’s on this site. I have started using the 3sec rule, and have been tempted to use the elastic band around the wrist, I’m also having a cold shower every morning and will begin (tonight) having a cold shower in the evening before bed. On days where I’m home alone or even when I’m not alone and my house mate is watching TV, I have a bench press in my room for those times the urge is high. I truly hope I can succeed (and join on the challenges). My aim is to go Hard-mode (as a gamer, I’m drawn to the challenge!). Some of the other tips I have seen is restricting screen time, sadly this will be my biggest challenge as I work in IT, and when I’m not in work, I’m generally researching / studying. So, my PC is on constantly, I have averaged my use of my pc at approx. 14 hours a day.


Any tips from other above average PC users would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway I look forward to walking this journey with you all.


Take it easy and be well!


Regards,


KellticJK

 

Thank you all very much for the warm welcome

I oddly never thought of studying in the office I'll definitely give this a shot!

Thank you Tiger Uppercut I'm reading through a lot of this, and have spent my lunch today reading through it.
The Journal is definitely something I'm going to be using