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New Fapstronaut looking for Insight and Advice

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by JohnSmyth1620, Jul 17, 2017.

  1. JohnSmyth1620

    JohnSmyth1620 Fapstronaut

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    I just started a new relationship about a month ago. I admitted to my SO about my problem and she was incredibly helpful with it. She wants to work together with me to get past the 90 days. I just dont know what will harm the reboot and whats helpful?
    Thanks in advance
     
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. JohnSmyth1620

    JohnSmyth1620 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for replying.
    Im currently working on PM free. I told my GF that we were going to take a three week break from anything sexual as a buffer of sorts. She and I were wondering what the 90 day reboot allows for?
    Is sexual acts with a partner considered a negative or a positive?
     
  3. Commited2Health

    Commited2Health Fapstronaut

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    Hi @JohnSmyth1620, congratulations on taking the initiative and deciding at the very beginning of a brand new relationship to own up to your part to make the relationship . I am sure your SO is flattered and sounds supportive. We do need a bit more info. Why are you doing the 90 day, what you would like to get out of it, are you experiencing any dysfunction such as Porn Induced ED, etc?
    Welcome.
     
    JohnSmyth1620 and Kenzi like this.
  4. JohnSmyth1620

    JohnSmyth1620 Fapstronaut

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    Im doing the 90 days because I really want to get porn out of my life. It ruined a previous relationship of mine, but I didnt learn my lesson. I have suffered from ED in the past, and due to the amount of porn I used to watch it seems like it is porn induced.

    Ive honestly tried many times to quit, but I've never really taken it seriously before.
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  5. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    Hey! First of all I just want to say how awesome it is that you have made the choice to change :) My husband is rebooting (day 22) and we have been having sex alot (after only doing it 2 times in the 2 years previous) . I have read that if you are with a partner and DO NOT FANTASIZE about porn while having sex, you rewire your brain to enjoy real life stimulation. My husband has chosen to O once a week, but we have been intimate almost every day. Lots of kissing, touching, and slow sex. Eyes open. Lights on. No crazy porn shit like we used to do and I have orgasms all the time.
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  6. Commited2Health

    Commited2Health Fapstronaut

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    I am also doing this for the same reasons. To start, take a look at yourbrainonporn.com Watch the YouTube video or read about the science behind it. You'll find, as you learn more about the addiction, that you might want to give up Porn forever. This is what I am likely to do. I want a normal, healthy relationship. I want to be a better partner all around. I want to be attentive to my partner. To do this, I needed to rewire my brain away from Porn. My PIED seems to be reversing. I focus on her now, her needs. I don't feel under pressure anymore and I am much more relaxed. Anyway, it can be reversed. Read about dopamine's effects on the brain and addiction. Start there. Good luck and let us know how things are gong for you.
     
    Hopefulgirl likes this.

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