New Fapstronaut, What to expect?

Hey, I'm Nathan aka MadmanWithAFez. (I do own a fez)

I've been trying to cut down on Porn/Masturbation for a while now, trying on/off for atleast a year. I've been successful for some periods of time, then relapsed. I feel like it's having a bad effect on my health, mentally and physically. Mentally more so, I find myself thinking about porn and sex too often, thinking about random people I see on the street. I hate it, It feels like I've just become this sort of monster, yet when I get urges I simply cannot stop myself from logging into tumblr and scrolling through porn whilst jerking it. It's a bloody pain as well because I'll spend an hour or more wanking, then after just realise how much time I've wasted, that I could've been productive. Wasting time really annoys me, yet I can't stop myself.

As for previous attempts, I've tried going cold turkey and that doesn't ever last long. I tried building it up, starting from going without for 3 days then doubling it each time. That lasted for a couple weeks. A couple times I've gone on trips with friends etc, where I can't wank, and then necessity allows me to go without, but I relapse almost immediately. What I find is, the longer I go without, the harder I relapse. I recently spent 3 weeks abroad, without wanking. I was so proud. The 2nd day I got home (I was jetlagged the 1st day) I spent something like 6 or 7 hours jerking on/off and scrolling through porn. I felt disgusting.

I need to quit this addiction. I feel like it's taken me over. I've come to accept now that I can never quit for good, but I want to try and control it, atleast for now. I was wondering if anyone could shed some light on how they first started, is it easier to control it, say wanking once a fortnight or so, instead of simply going cold turkey? I feel like if I'd gone 11 days without and had serious urges, that knowing I would be allowed to wank in 3 more days would make me much more likely to go those 3 extra days. But then does it become an excuse? I really don't know, so if anyone has any pointers I'd very much appreciate it.

Thank you for your time reading what has become an essay
- A Madman who owns a Fez