New Fapstronaut

Hello fellow Fapstronaughts. My name is Kairu (not my real name btw), aged 29 at the time of this posting and I'm new to the NoFap website.

Like many young men I have been indulging in the act of masturbation since puberty. My triggers were of images of women in sexy revealing clothing such as swimwear, espesially bikinis and lingerie. My favorite being the high cut brief kind. I never actually used pornography as it was something that disgusted me growing up. I wouldn't even want to look at a woman's bare breasts or ass which was something other kids in school would ridicule me for and tell me that "Everyone looks at porn except you". My older sister even teased me about it once.

This went on through out my teen years but as I got older I developed a tolerance to T&A and it just didn't bother anymore though I still avoid hardcore material.

As I went on through life I would keep on indulging in masturbation as often as I could. In fact, I would spent my free time, which I have had a lot of over the years to video games, internet, watching anime/films/YouTube videos and fapping. I would usually fap 4 to 5 times or maybe more a day. This also involved waking up in the mornings and going to sleep at night. This would eventually lead to sexual dysfunction that would last for several months on end or even a whole year until my libido suddenly came back, casing a cycle that would repeat itself.

However, it was over the summertime of last year that I came to realize that this compulsive act was effecting me in other ways besides a limp dick which I still get to this day.
These negative effects include:
Depression along with mild cases of anxiety including social anxiety
Low mood
Lack of motivation
Laziness
Headaches
A dull ache behind the eyes
Eye floaters
Constant fatigue
Lethargy (like when you have flu)
Poor concentration
Brain fog
Irritability
Low self esteem
Hard flaccid
Restlessness
Difficulty sleeping

It was at this point I realized that I have an addiction to masturbation and at one point even wondered if I was a sex addict even though I am a virgin. Eventually, I heard about NoFap on YouTube and decided that my constant fapping had to stop.

After spending several months going solo with NoFap I found myself struggling to stop fapping altogether, though I have started to cut back on it more. In fact, a few weeks ago I hit a flatline where I just felt like complete shit and found myself giving in to that nasty urge to look up my favorite sexy image and start jerking off.
I also went to a counselor and told him about NoFap,how often I'd been masturbating and how I felt at the time. He told me that it wasn't my mastubration or how often I'd been doing it that was what was causing my depression and that 3 to 5 times a day is perfectly normal. But what was causing my depression was guilt over masturbating, which I personally didn't think was true. He then asked me questions about myself. Thing like what do I do for a job, how do I spend my down time and if I have any ambitions or goals in life. After we talked for a while he came to the conclusion that I was feeling depressed due to boredom which in turn is what lead to masturbation which I did find to be true and that I should try and expand my comfort zone by doing other things.
Sometime later I downloaded and read the NoFap eBook where I read about the website and that there are many people online willing to help by setting challenges.

Which brings me to writing this forum thread. I look forward to meeting new people who can help me break this self sabotaging habit so I can be the person I want to be and life a full, happy life.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I'm looking forward to all your support.

 

Thanks, buddy.