New guy here. Little bit about my addiction and the problems it's causing with me.

Hey guys, I'm new here...obviously.

I've been watching porn regularly for the past 10 years. Atleast 10 times a day, it even happens while I'm at work. I'm getting sick of this shit dude. I am with a very lovely woman who I care for and love very much. I want to enjoy sex with her, and I do keep an erection throughout, and I do ejaculate...but it just doesn't feel the same. I don't feel like I pleasure her...even though she's screaming and moaning as loud as she can. I don't feel good enough. It takes me a while to ejaculate. And alot of the time when I'm having sex with her I'm just in my head and one main thought is "this isn't porn." Some days I have zero confidence or drive to do anything. And I have intimacy issues as well.

Also, due to my addiction...the thing I fucking hate the most about this...is that I have started to kind of fantasize about my girl having sex with other people. And I am absolutely disgusted with the fact that it even became a thought. I dont want to think these things, but, sometimes I can't get it out of my head. I haven't told her, and the last thing I want is for me to bring that into reality. I've been cheated on several times and it just downright sucks. Today's my first day of no masturbating and I can't even begin to describe how hard it is. Im finding it hard to sleep. I figured itd be a whole lot easier for me if I joined this group for support. The last thing I want to be is a fucking cuckold. I want to enjoy sex with my woman, I want to feel like a man. I don't want to feel inadequate or not good enough anymore. And I'll do anything to make that a reality.