New here and need help to save my marriage .

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by 2yearssober, Nov 17, 2020.

  1. 2yearssober

    2yearssober New Fapstronaut

    I’m 43 years old and have have been married to my wonderful wife for 18 years. I have used porn pretty much my entire life and also have had multiple affairs along the way. Sex for me has always been what I wanted I tried to tell myself I’m trying to do things for her but ultimately I’ve been selfish.
    My wife has come to me multiple times over the marriage and stated she wanted to feel more desired in the bedroom not the usual middle of the night early morning sex and i have done nothing.
    This all came to a head when 2 years ago she found out I’ve been using porn through the entire marriage. I haven’t looked at porn in over 2 years but have have reoccurring Ed issues. These issues have devastated her. I’m just looking for help to save my marriage. TIA
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Welcome to the forum. You mentioned no porn for 2 years. That’s great! Do you still Masturbate? Thanks for sharing your story and keep coming back. We are all here seeking healing and peace.
  3. SoaringEagle

    SoaringEagle Fapstronaut

    If you have been off porn for 2 years and I assume without affairs or that you do not fantasize about it and have already talked openly with her then you are doing everything you can to do your part.
    I don't know how any of us can help, Maybe counseling or to look into ways to rebuild your relationship and start a fresh or if you still have ED issues to look into exercise and diet.
  4. syefox

    syefox Fapstronaut

    I strongly recommend the no arousal method, good luck man I wish you the best
  5. MexFighter

    MexFighter Fapstronaut

    Hi 2yearsober.
    Okay, I think the're different ways to treat this addiction and you're married so I first would recommend to see a professional.. therapy! You're an addict and so we are so you need to fight this battle with a good team that supports you.. you need to be totally clear and sincere.. dont hide anything, say it loud!
    And then, when you find out the roots about why you need to use porn to feel arousal then you can start to heal..
    Its importan that you remember.. it has been YEARS of PMO and sex and affairs so this need years of fight agains it.. Dont quit!
    I really hope you can reach your goals!
    Good luck
  6. 2yearssober

    2yearssober New Fapstronaut

    I seldom masturbate anymore .
  7. Your only aim is to make her happy. Not only in the bed, treat her like princess. Try to change your position in relationship. No more selfish guy. Now you are different. Now she is in first place in everything, in bed too. First she will get satisfied, then you. First she will be happy, then you. If she is not happy, then you can't be happy, this is rule for you. Make her your idol. And i recommend not ejaculating for 2-3 weeks during sex. Make her happy and orgasm in bed, but for you wait 2-3 weeks don't ejaculate, just enjoy playing with her in bed. This will increase your desire to her. Only your wife can help you to throw your lust out. Your wife is only way to stop your itches down there. No porn and no other woman can help you with this put this in your brain when you start and make her hard obtainable for yourself. (Don't leave bed satisfied, leave hungry) I think this will help. Try it. Accept this challenge for 2-3 weeks and see the results.

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