New here... hoping this will help

B

Bruce85

Fapstronaut
Hello all,

I've been battling porn addiction for some time now... by that I mean, 20+ years. I have ups and downs and periods where I manage to abstain, but over the past 4 or so years, it has escalated to the point where I am spending money (a lot of it) on cam sites. In addition to that some of my behaviour is now seeping into my life and causing harm... the inability to think clearly - always having it on my mind... my priorities being thrown out of whack... this guilt - over something I'm not even sure I should be feeling guilty of... it's all a bit of a mess.

I do know some things. I know that I would like to be able to stop. I want to stop wasting my money on this crap and I want to stop watching porn. I'm not sure about masturbation, at this point, but I feel like if I can stop watching porn, then it's likely that masturbation will decrease as well.

I've joined the site because I went on a bit of a binge last night... lot's of time wasted and money wasted and I just feel sick. I'm really hoping some of the resources here can help. In the past I managed to go a month or so without resorting to porn or masturbation before relapsing. Hoping things time around I can keep off the porn and cam sites, for a lot longer.

This looks like a solid place with some great people. Happy to be part of it. Talk soon.
- Bats
 
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
 
Thanks guys. A mere 6 days in, but I suppose that's better than nothing. Doing my best - was a lot easier as I was surrounded by friends and family for most of the week - now I find myself alone and the brain begins to wander to those darker recesses... so that's perhaps why I thought to check in.

Not sure I have any strategies, to be honest. I've tried a lot of thing. I think keeping busy with other things, might be the best place to start.

Thanks once again for the warm welcome.
 
It's been a rough couple of days... I find myself treading toward pornography... heck - debating resetting the counter altogether. I'm looking at images that are close to 'porn' but those that I would not define as such... still, skirting around it... inching closer. I hate the feeling. My goal was to break away from porn, but I was okay with the occasional masturbation session (at least for now)... still, it's a shitty feeling knowing that the only way I can break away from the lure of pornography is to jerk off using mental stimuli or something that isn't porn.

I think I read somewhere about cold showers... I guess I can give that a go from here on out. I truly do want to stop - I think my triggers are mainly loneliness and boredom... I guess I need to work on those.

Anyway, heading up and away from the City for the next few days... hopefully nature can bring some clarity... will be surrounded by friends and that is welcomed. Till next time.
- Bats
 
Thought I'd take a moment to check back in. Still managing to stay away from pornography and that might have to do with the fact that I've been pretty busy lately with work and other facets of my life... so much so that any kind of dead time (like some that I experienced today), leads me right into thinking about porn or re-visiting cam sites and the sort... it's brutal and so stupid - but I mean, I guess it's so ingrained in my being that the idea of going to the keyboard with nothing to do immediately connects to porn. Ridiculous.

Anyway, still managing to stay away from sites... not that the thought doesn't pop up from time to time. Gotta get better at recognizing triggers and maybe stowing away the computer prior to bed and finding other things to occupy myself with. Hoping I can keep this going for a long time - but we'll see. It's on and off. Some days are harder than others.

Peace.
- Bats
 
Broke today. Trying not to feel too shitty about it - and especially not to go on a bender with that mentality. Back to 0. Don't feel too great, but at least I'm here admitting it. Maybe that's something.
 
7 days here, been going up and down for the past three years. My last reboot was 60 until I had sex and fucked it up the week after thinking I was in the clear, then binged for a week straight. I've never taken this into account or thought about it that seriously, but I think success depends on two things. Avoiding triggers at all costs especially when you're alone (I'm personally looking away from anyone in a bikini for the foreseeable future) and when I get a natural arousal if I'm alone, I'll probably go outside or do something else for five minutes until it's gone.
 
Brandon0000 said:
7 days here, been going up and down for the past three years. My last reboot was 60 until I had sex and fucked it up the week after thinking I was in the clear, then binged for a week straight. I've never taken this into account or thought about it that seriously, but I think success depends on two things. Avoiding triggers at all costs especially when you're alone (I'm personally looking away from anyone in a bikini for the foreseeable future) and when I get a natural arousal if I'm alone, I'll probably go outside or do something else for five minutes until it's gone.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the suggestions - appreciate it. The issue with me is that the trigger is often just being at a keyboard (when I'm at home).... and the issue is I work from home and am always at my computer. When there are deadlines and work needs to be done, I'm solid... but if there's dead time, I tend to fill it with browsing - that slowly inches toward pornography.

I think self-control/willpower is a key - and it fluctuates, for me. Anyway, hanging in there and doing my best.
 
Back at it.. yet again. If I'm being fully honest I never bothered to even update that counter... and it was just adding up, while I was just acting out. But I'm back here again, looking to change. Fuck it's hard to do that sometimes. Making another effort to cut out pornography as best I can and try and occupy myself with better, more positive things.

Thanks for listening - whoever is. :)
 
Bruce85 said:
Back at it.. yet again. If I'm being fully honest I never bothered to even update that counter... and it was just adding up, while I was just acting out. But I'm back here again, looking to change. Fuck it's hard to do that sometimes. Making another effort to cut out pornography as best I can and try and occupy myself with better, more positive things.

Thanks for listening - whoever is. :)
Click to expand...
Keep going.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top