New here... Male, 23, south african

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by [email protected], May 20, 2018.

  1. Cam@23

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    Hey everyone,

    I'm Cam from South Africa. I'm 23 years old and have been struggling with same sex attraction, porn and masturbation for 16 years.

    This hasn't been easy for me, especially while growing up in a Christian home.

    This has been my darkest secret for such a long time. I can't go on like this anymore. I am desperate for change in my life.

    I want to quit porn and masturbation. And I want to overcome my same sex attraction and develop healthy relationships with those around me.

    If anyone can walk with me through this. I'd forever be grateful and thankful.

    God bless you.
    JJSN and PMO addict like this.
  2. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    Hi Cam. Welcome to nofap. My advice is keep going around the forums. There are lots of sections. One that might help would be to just go around the "New to Nofap" section and read as many posts as you can. Try to see what you have in common with other people's reasons for joining. Then make a comment like "Hi I'm new here too" and whatever you want to say so that you get to start meeting people here. A lot of people here address HOCD. I don't know if you have HOCD or actual attraction. I felt like in my addiction I started not knowing which gender I was attracted to but in my month of being clean I already got more clear that I like women and that was just my addiction and HOCD making me think I was another orientation. So I hope that gives you some hope. You can message me any time.
    [email protected] likes this.
  3. Cam@23

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much for the advice. What is HOCD though? I think I could relate to what you are saying...I think if I stop this addiction I won't have a problem with same sex attraction anymore. Thanks again for the advice.
    PMO addict likes this.
  4. 94d33m

    94d33m Fapstronaut

    Im glad you are making a change in your life Cam ! Remove the urge to masturbation and you will open up new pathways in your life :D
  5. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you crate a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
    [email protected] likes this.
  6. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    Hi @[email protected] . If you google "HOCD" you will find a list of links. Just look around a little. It stands for "homosexual-OCD" which involves homosexual thoughts but they are experienced as intrusive, rather than a part of who you are. Alot of people here aren't homosexual but they have HOCD. Including me but I wouldn't have known if I didn't find it here.
    [email protected] likes this.
  7. Hey @[email protected] ,

    I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

    Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

    What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

    First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

    Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

    Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

    That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

    For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship..

    @Gray Wolf

    One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    @StarLightReboot -
    @JackMcWaffles -
    @SaapKaBaap -
    @GoldSpirit -
    @Lazarus Shuttlesworth -
    @Inqonyama -
    @db001 -
    @progressiverockguy -
    @julianstone -

    --> L

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