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New Here. (sorry for the long post)...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by SFischer12349, May 6, 2019.

  1. SFischer12349

    SFischer12349 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    I just wanted to take a few things of my chest.

    I started PMOing when i was 14-15yo, it first started on the TV, since the internet was at the time, and it seemed harmless at the time.

    It went on for a few years, i lost my virginity at age 18 to a girl that we can call "S", we were both virgins, so we weren't experienced at all, so everything looked normal, at times i had a difficult time getting an erection, but i wasnt aware it was a result of PIED...
    However my social anxiety kept building up, accompanied by some bad feelings (depression, jealousy, anger).

    I kept my relationship with "S" for almost 3 years, everything was "normal" with her, i didn't experienced many difficulties with her. After a while we splitted.

    After 6 months i started a relationship with "A", she was 3 years younger than me, however, by the time i got with "A", i was experiencing a super low libido, low self steem, anxiety...

    I mantained a relationship with "A" for about a couple years, and by the half of our relationship, i didn't desire her anymore, i had sex with her, because she desired it, i lost almost all my sexual desire because through the years it kept PMOing...

    After 3-4 of a non healthy relationship with "A" we broke up.

    After that, i hooked up with differents girls, "K", "J", "SO", "M". with these girls i slept like a couple time, but eventually i could get an erection, or mantaining one whatsoever...

    Some months later i got into a new relationship with "L", she seemed like a nice person, i went through a rough couple of month unemployed, on which she supported everything, she had a very high sex appetite on which my wildest fantasies could be made, since she didn't refused anything, everything went "well", the time i was with her i didn't had any troubles in a sexual matter.
    I even moved with her, i spent almost a week at her place when i found out she was cheating on me, i returned to my home heartbroken, depressed, anxious...

    I spent the next 2 years (2016-2018 aprox) "alone" (in any romantic way), getting wasted every weekend, PMOing almost everyday, playing videos games.

    It was on November 2018, when i decided it was time to get my shit together, stopped drinking, stopped PMOing, and decided to date this girl "D", (just to give you some context she is 8 yrs younger), everything was going well, i was taking things a bit slow for my own good, and on december a close relative passed away, it been a rough couple months, dealing with lost of this relative, going through a relationship with "D", and dealing with my old pal depression and anxiety, i been free of PMO for a couple months now, however im struggling with the side effects of PIED, im trying to get my shit together since i really like "D" and shes been very supportive with me, and i dont want to lose her.

    I dont know if should get a medication for my PIED???, since "D" doesnt know about my PMO condition and the side effect it has on me (PIED) and i dont want to scare her off.

    I dont know how much time will it take to get back to my true self, i started practicing MMA since february, this helps his my anxiety and depression problem. however... the PIED is a true thing, for times i can hold an erection, but it eventually goes off.

    I dont know if you guys have any tips, advice, or personal experience you could share.

    And for everyone out there struggling with PMO, you can quit it if you really want to, i ve spent almost 15 years doing it, even while in a relationship, if you want it, you can do it, i been free of PMO for almost 6 months now, after years of doing it, you are not the only one out there dealing with this.

    Every comment, tip, advice, or experience is very welcomed.

    P.S. Sorry for the long post.
     
    Jerry120 likes this.
  2. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Welcome tot he forum and thanks for sharing your story!

    Everyone's recovery is different and hence YMMV. However, I would say the pill option may work. I've read about stories where folks have used the pill the first couple of times after suffering from PIED and then stopped using the pill to have a healthy sex life. The pill in these cases is just used to kickstart the engine so to say. Once things are off and running, no external stimulus is needed.

    However, in my opinion, a more healthier recovery would be to let "D" know about your personal situation and have a normal recovery with her. This may be scary with you having to expose your vulnerabilities to her. This is tough but should be healthier emotionally, mentally, and physically.

    Good luck with everything!
     
    SFischer12349 likes this.

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