New here struggling with porn and financial domination addiction

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Marveljt87, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Marveljt87

    Marveljt87 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone just signed up i started watching porn when i was 12 and over time progressed onto to femdom stuf then around the age of 22 i got into financial domination i have no idea how much i have money i have spent on this over the last 8 years but it must be close to £20000 i have tried to quit many time but have failed every time. i failed again tonight and spent the last £70 i had just to get permission to jerk off from a woman online as soon as it was over i felt so guilty and ashamed i need to quit this now and i know i can't do it on my own
     
    Soberhopeful likes this.
  2. Hey man,

    I have been where you are with financial domination. I used to spend hundreds Well into thousands of dollars on cam girls. I even remember sneaking away on thanksgiving day because one of my “faves” was online. Recently I have spend hundreds of dollars on phone sex and at the end of it, none of them ever called me back. The last call I made was on April 1st.

    You have think of the money you are going to spend first when you get the urge, and how else it can go to. When you get that urge withdraw it and have it physically and put it away somewhere safe so you know you won’t spend it.
     
  3. Marveljt87

    Marveljt87 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice i have also sneaked away from family events to spend money on financial domination and afterwards i feel disgusted with myself and i know that findoms want that they want me to feel shit about myself and have no self esteem because then its easier for them to get money from me and although i know what is happening i find it so hard to resist its payday today and i am already getting the urges but im determined not to give in this time
     
  4. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
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  5. Soberhopeful

    Soberhopeful Fapstronaut

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    I spent money on PMO that I ended up losing a house to bankruptcy because I thought that PMO was more important than making a mortgage payment.
    This is all part of your story which will help others. When you mention the financial cost, it hits home to people who doesn't think that PMO is a serious disease.
     
    Marveljt87 likes this.
  6. Marveljt87

    Marveljt87 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice guys i agree about the AA meetings they do work very well i have been through them in the past i beat that addiction i know i can beat this one as well
     
  7. I totally get what you mean by the self esteem because for the longest time, can girls used to make me feel good because when I would talk to the girls I wanted in the past, I never connected with them because of my self esteem. Even on my birthdays in the past I would call an stripper/escort and gets hotel room and waste thousands of dollars to them “make me happy, pretend you want me and that I’m the only one, and that you care even though I know you don’t.” And they would because I would pay. Sometimes I didn’t even want sex, just someone to lay with me and watch movies with because I was so trapped into Porn and masturbation and sex I was to pay for some form of connection to not be alone, because I was alone watching porn, sex chat, phone sex so deeply

    Lately I have gone to gym, lost weight and I’m officially on 14 days of no PM(I’m married so I only have sex with my wife to O) and my confidence is noticble by others, even girls I work with I have no problem having easy convos with and they never talked to me previously and that’s makes me better at my job. So when I get the urge now I take a quick run and I still save that money I would’ve spent.
     
  8. Marveljt87

    Marveljt87 Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear you are doing well im struggling today but i haven't given in to the urges yet. You're right it totally destroys self esteem i used to be good at talking to girls but now i just panic hopefully i can get back to my old self
     
    Soberhopeful likes this.
  9. It’s a slow battle, man. Just remember it starts with yourself, when you make yourself feel good and look good, other people notice.
     
  10. Soberhopeful

    Soberhopeful Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the honesty and God bless you.
     
  11. Marveljt87

    Marveljt87 Fapstronaut

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  12. Your problem is rooted in your lack of self worth. The truth is ... we are taught in this world that our worth comes from the things we have, the people we know, the way we dress, our general social status etc. But God has valued all of us ... our worth was predetermined and no one can add to or take away from what God has given. Every one of us can experience that love but we shy away because inside we know the wrongs we have done and feel we are unlovable. But the Bible declares that God so loved the world He gave His Son so that we might have eternal life. Not only that but He love us WHILE we were yet sinners! And that is just truly amazing. The value of something is determined by how much a person is willing to pay for it. Think of how much you are worth for God to send His precious Son to suffer for you. God is love man... and He loves you. God can set you free from this...
     

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