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Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by comscopp, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. comscopp

    comscopp New Fapstronaut

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    My life is completely fucked up because of porn and masturbation. I just can't stay away from this shit. I'm a software engineer and i have to focus on my work. But i just can't focus and concentrate on anything. I think m gonna loose my job because of low confidence and low o/p at work.
    My relationship with a girl is suffering because i feel like she doesn't deserve me. I am a very bad person. I'm loosing my weight. My skin color is getting darker. I don't know if its a side effect of masturbation or side effect of the stress/anxiety. And I'm facing hair loss as well. You can't even imagine the pain of loosing your hair in early twenties. :( And m crying while writing this post. please please help me somehow so that i don't waste myself. I'm very passionate about my work and i wanted to work on a project but now i can't. I don't have motivation to do that project.
    Fuck ... I hate my life. :(
    I masturbate 2, 3 times a week and after that I feel depressed and i just can't enjoy life. I tried many times to leave porn and masturbation but I couldn't. I can't leave internet/computer as well because I'm a Software Engineer. My work needs internet 24 hr.

    So kindly help me. I'll be very thankful to you guys. :(

    And what should I do to overcome weakness. Its been 2 years of consistent masturbation. Can my hair grow back if I leave masturbation.
     
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  2. Hey @comscopp ,

    I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

    There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

    My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

    Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

    1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

    2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

    Learn the NoFap Program
    The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

    They are:

    You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

    Get Involved with the Community
    The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

    Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

    • Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH

    • Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles

    • Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.

    • Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
    Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

    --> L

    PS – I Think of pmo like a wolf. If I Stay near the center of the group with the winners the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, stray near the edges of the community by not working my program and the wolf can pick me off.
     
  3. One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

    I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

    Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

    @JackMcWaffles - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/169456/
    ---
    @ThePolisher11 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/172939/
    ---
    @LeoJohn - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/159500/
    ---
    @Iron Patience - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155794/
    ---
    @ludwig525 - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155658/
    ---
    @Mr.Imperfect - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/164547/
    ---
    @GeeWhizz - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/152127/
    ---
    @Sunshadow - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
    ---
    @Tomoya Okazaki - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
    ---
    @Fortitudo - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/
    ---
    @Dragonnlife - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148/
    ---

    There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

    This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

    --> L

    PS - Starting a journal also helped me a great deal.

    The journals are listed by age groups on the forum start page.

    Most members run one journal only. That way both the member and others can go back and look at their journey at a later time.

    Hope to read your journal soon. Also, in your personal details you can put a link to your journal. Then, appears under your avatar.


    -
     
  4. For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship.

    Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles.

    I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

    @I_can_and_I_will
    @JackMcWaffles
    @Mr.Imperfect
    @Inqonyama
    @Toughboy
    @romlel
    @LeoJohn
    @Gray Wolf
    @StarLightReboot
    @Chriss27
    @ludwig525
    @hoping_cannon
    @SteelshoT
    @reystronaut
    @2525

    Look at with whom they exchange messages and you will find more profiles.

    So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

    Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

    --> L
     
  5. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     

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