New journal

Day 193 - another day where I face the reality of my own narcissism. Talking to my wife about our day but talking over her and not properly listening. I need to be better, I must be better. What is the matter with me?

Things I am grateful for:
My wife and her unbelievable patience with me.
Important meeting went well.
Friday.

Things I hope for today:
Cuddles
Stress free morning
Jobs done
 
Day 195 - having a good weekend. Important day for my stepson today which is nice to be able to support him. Just nice to have a brief rest from the madness of work! We have food in the house and all is well with our world.

Things I am grateful for:
My beautiful wife
Friendly cat
Nice weekend

Things I hope for today:
Stress free day
Cuddles
Good weather
 
Day 196 - despite the rain, my stepson did well yesterday and we were very proud of his achievement. Spent the rest of the day doing jobs around the house and keeping up with the sport. Cooked a massive fry up for dinner which was delicious. Another manic week at work to look towards today. One day at a time.

Things I am grateful for:
Time for reflection
My amazing wife
A loving family

Things I hope for today:
Cuddles
Jobs done
Little stress
 
Day 197 - yesterday wasn’t a bad day at all, fairly stress free. Hoping for more of the same today, and then a good meeting later this evening.

Things I am grateful for:
My gorgeous wife
Jobs done
Good sleep

Things I hope for today:
Cuddles
Little stress
Good meeting
 
Day 198 - didn’t go to meeting in the end last night. Will go next week as I feel right now in a good place. Enjoyed spending the time with my wonderful wife. She really is my favourite person in the entire world. Long meeting at work today, so hopefully I will not be too tired by the end of it.

Things I am grateful for:
My brilliant wife
Roof over my head
Food in my stomach

Things I hope for today:
Stress free
Jobs done
Cuddles
 
Day 200 - I have made it to 200 days no P or M. The journey is far from over but I am proud of my achievements so far. I can see so clearly now the addictive, almost obsessive personality that I am. I could not have made it this far without the support of my wife. She literally is everything in the world to me and if she had left me (which she would have been entirely fair in doing given the constant shit I have put her through) I don’t think I would have even managed 100.

Important meeting with the boss today and then the weekend - hopefully the day goes quickly!

Things I am grateful for:
Day 200
My beautiful wife
Waking up in my own bed

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Cuddles
Lack of stress
 
Warren of fleabags said:
Day 200 - I have made it to 200 days no P or M. The journey is far from over but I am proud of my achievements so far. I can see so clearly now the addictive, almost obsessive personality that I am. I could not have made it this far without the support of my wife. She literally is everything in the world to me and if she had left me (which she would have been entirely fair in doing given the constant shit I have put her through) I don’t think I would have even managed 100.

Important meeting with the boss today and then the weekend - hopefully the day goes quickly!

Things I am grateful for:
Day 200
My beautiful wife
Waking up in my own bed

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Cuddles
Lack of stress
Click to expand...
Congratulations on 200 days. I appreciate how much you reflect gratitude in your journal.
 
Warren of fleabags said:
Day 200 - I have made it to 200 days no P or M. The journey is far from over but I am proud of my achievements so far. I can see so clearly now the addictive, almost obsessive personality that I am. I could not have made it this far without the support of my wife. She literally is everything in the world to me and if she had left me (which she would have been entirely fair in doing given the constant shit I have put her through) I don’t think I would have even managed 100.

Important meeting with the boss today and then the weekend - hopefully the day goes quickly!

Things I am grateful for:
Day 200
My beautiful wife
Waking up in my own bed

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Cuddles
Lack of stress
Click to expand...


Amazing man, you're a real inspiration. The discipline, consistency. Celebrate the small victories.
 
Day 203 - it has been a good weekend, with some lovely quality time with my wife and great family times with daughter too. We are starting to do all the Christmas activities that are now a set part of this time of year. Still not feeling quite as festive as yet but I know that will change. Christmas is a really important and special time for me. I spent so many Christmas days feeling ultimately lonely and depressed. That all stopped when I met my wife. Now Christmas is a happy time for me again.

Work this week will continue to be stressful. There are a couple of changes I have had to make that may not be pleasing to everyone but I have to think of the majority rather than the minority.

Things I am grateful for:
A lovely weekend with my gorgeous wife
Cuddles
Smiles and laughter

Things I hope for today:
Less stress
Jobs done
Cuddles
 
Day 204 - yesterday went okay in terms of the changes that have been made at work. Onto another day for potential stress as we have more visitors today coming to see what we do. Felt good last night that I had everything ready for today prep wise, especially in terms of dinner as I should be able to attend meeting tonight.

Things I am grateful for:
My wonderful wife
Getting organised

Things I hope for today:
Good visit
Cuddles
Good meeting
 
Day 206 - the meeting the other evening was good and gave me a real sense of reflecting on how far in my journey I still have to go. My wife is feeling really under the weather and so my priority is making sure she is comfortable and looked after, but not in such a way as I often do when I overfuss and annoy her. Nearly the weekend and we are looking forward to a fun family outing to the theatre, so hope the rest of the week goes smoothly!

Things I am grateful for:
My wonderful wife
Good meeting
Pay day tomorrow

Things I hope for today:
Stress free resolutions
Cuddles
Good sleep
 
Day 207 - thank goodness it is the end of the week. I got a lot done today in prep for today so should hopefully run as smoothly as possible.

Things I am grateful for:
My gorgeous wife
Pay day
Weekend plans

Things I hope for today:
Smooth runnings
Cuddles
Good sleep
 
Day 210 - a lovely weekend with the family. Good theatre trip on Saturday which was very entertaining, then yesterday, as is our tradition on the last weekend of November, the Christmas decorations went up. Treated my wife to a pub lunch and then we went to see a light show at a garden in the evening. Bit of a stressful drive home in the pouring rain. Keeping one eye on my finances - this time last month my anxieties began to flare up again around them. Trying not to let that shape my feelings this week. I know things will be okay, I know there will be options. I just wish I was comfortably off, not even rich, just in a position where I didn’t need to worry about money so much. But that’s the nature of my own decisions and the world we live in right now, I guess.

Things I am grateful for:
My gorgeous wife
Great weekend
Christmas decorations up.

Things I hope for today:
Stress free day
Cuddles
Sore throat goes away
 
Day 211 - so yesterday afternoon was a tricky one. While having an important meeting with the boss there was an issue which kept interrupting that was around my department. The boss didn’t mind but it was a little frustrating for me and my team. Hopefully today will go better. Really on the countdown now to the end of the working period and on to the holidays.

Things I am grateful for:
My wonderful wife
Sleep
Holidays soon

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Cuddles
Better sleep
 
Day 212 - am coming down with a cold. Normally I know I can be a typical man about it and be moping around all over the place, but what good will that do? My plan is to just push through (with the help of cold and flu tablets) and carry on regardless.

Things I am grateful for:
My beautiful wife
My lovely house
Heating

Things I hope for today:
Cuddles
Medicine works
Jobs done
 
Day 213 - tomorrow is bills day and I normally have a slight trepidation around it, obviously linked to my anxieties around money, which I am certain is one of my wellbeing triggers which led to my downfall so many times before. This morning as I type I’m not feeling too bad about it. I think I have a sense that everything will be okay, and just need to continue to be careful with my spending, which sounds daft but when you have Christmas coming up it makes sense. Luckily I have already bought one of my wife’s big presents so that’s already taken care of!

Things I am grateful for:
My gorgeous wife
Good sleep (thank you medicine)
Coffee

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Safe journeys
No stress
 
Warren of fleabags said:
Day 213 - tomorrow is bills day and I normally have a slight trepidation around it, obviously linked to my anxieties around money, which I am certain is one of my wellbeing triggers which led to my downfall so many times before. This morning as I type I’m not feeling too bad about it. I think I have a sense that everything will be okay, and just need to continue to be careful with my spending, which sounds daft but when you have Christmas coming up it makes sense. Luckily I have already bought one of my wife’s big presents so that’s already taken care of!

Things I am grateful for:
My gorgeous wife
Good sleep (thank you medicine)
Coffee

Things I hope for today:
Jobs done
Safe journeys
No stress
Click to expand...


Money is a trigger for me too. Thinking about the stresses of business and all. Worst day of the month is bills day. Or if a deal goes south. You're not alone bro. All we can do is work smarter and harder at the business/job until the bills don't hurt.
 
Day 214 - happy first of the month and now into December proper. This is now the time where I allow myself to feel properly festive. Despite everything else going on, Christmas will be and has always been my favourite time of the year. Bills are all paid and there’s a little to play with which means my anxiety levels are low. Best of all, after today I know I have ten work days left until the Christmas break.

Things I am grateful for:
My beautiful wife
Bills paid
Weekend plans

Things I hope for today:
Smooth runnings
Cuddles
Feeling more like myself and not a cold ravaged monster
 
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