New knowledge bit after 4 months of trying this

Since I started on this site around the last days of February, I have been failing again and again. I've tried to improve each streak and it has been hard (my best one was like 20 days) but I think I have a better mindset this time. And maybe that's the key.

PMO has got me feeling tired and weak and sad and a lot of bad things in general. And since I started, I've probably never felt better before. I sleep better, feel less tired, have more energy, feel more confident, etc.

However, this is a double edge sword, and I feel like at least for me it's a very important discovery.

Personally, I feel like even though I have many things that I look for in PMO like happy chemicals in my brain, temporary stress relief, etc. Probably the main thing that has me coming back is sexual performance anxiety. I've never had sex but I am aware that it's not like P portrays it. Even then, I still feel like I can go to it and have my fantasy of amazing sexual performance by projecting myself into the other man on the screen. And it all comes down to pride because it makes me feel powerful and admired.

And this is why not having the right mindset is dangerous. When you start getting your morning wood back and stronger and longer lasting erections. And you start feeling more confident, with more energy and just way better than before, that's when the problems come back. Because if your addiction comes from pride, and you start improving yourself, then not only you lower your guard against temptations, but you also feel the need to try your new ("supposedly more powerful") self's performance. And you go back to PMO to experience and enhanced version of your fantasy.

So my new approach is to focus on humility when I start improving. I am not doing an amazing job, I am just doing what I was supposed to do. I've even tried to stay away from this website, just to keep all of this out of my mind and focus on my real life. I'm keeping and eye on what's actually important and forgeting about the mistakes and the anxiety and everything that drags me down and back to PMO. Of course, never letting my guard down and fleeing from triggers. I come back from time to time just to check with my AP's and maybe post something like this. But I'll try to keep it minimal.

Hopefully, this is it.