New married wife

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by badteresa, May 2, 2019.

  1. badteresa

    badteresa Fapstronaut

    I hate to even put the wife in the title became I feel that is earned and I have not earned it.
    I come here as a cheated and sex addict. I don’t do porn but m is maybe a driving factor
    I have been to one Sex Addict meeting and i checked off all the boxes.
    I need help in stopping this cycle.
    I do not see a lot of females on here so I might be on the wrong site.
    My husband does not know about any of my behaviors since we where married and he didn’t asks questions about my past before
  2. Beacon of light

    Beacon of light New Fapstronaut

    the the nofap community is a place open not only to men but also women. This is a place for healing, for connection, for support, and ultimately for overcoming problems. Now it is true you are the one that has to overcome the problems, but just know, in doing so you are never alone, especially on this site.

    If I were to give you a recommendation right off the bat to help you with your sex addiction, I would recommend putting yourself in cold water, and or taking a cold shower whenever you have a thought of sexual tension or just general anxiety. You will need time to recuperate. the reason you're probably having trouble with your sex addiction is because you have conditioned yourself, by masturbating and having sex over these periods of time, your body has become used to it. That being said, cold showers are not something your body is used to, so there will be a strong reaction when drenched with sexual thoughts, and having the sharp chill of cold water flush away these thoughts giving you anxiety over the idea of not being worthy of being a wife, and more.

    If you drain out those anxious thoughts of sex and general thoughts of anxiety, with the sharpness of cold water, every time it occurs, then you will be fine. it will be hard at first, but the more you do it, the more effective it will be to help you with your problem. I believe in you, if you need more help on this, feel free to message me personally. I believe you can do that on this site.

    You are worthy, and this will help you feel Worthy, have a blessed day!

    -Torch Lighter
  3. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    Welcome to the community!
    If you're married, you've earned the title of wife. No one marries Ms. Perfect. And the ones who try to, just wind up staying single.
    Now, faithful wife is the title you haven't earned. Not yet anyway! But you're in a good place to find help. Yeah, it's mostly guys around here, but there's definitely plenty of women.

    I would highly recommend confessing to your husband. Sure he'll be mad and hurt at first, but if he truly loves you, he'll help you recover from your problems. Also, better for him to learn from your lips, than some other way...the truth usually gets found out, sooner or later. Granted, I'm no marriage counselor. But the truth really does set you free.
  4. Badvock

    Badvock Fapstronaut

    I'm guessing there is no such thing as "the wrong site" addiction like this doesn't care about gender or orientation, it's a debilitating illness that can affect everyone from all walks of life. I'm new here myself but i'm confident that regardless of our background support can be found in dealing with our problems. Welcome to the community and I hope you can find the help and support you need here.
  5. Coming out even anonymously is tough. I recently learned I have two types of addictions thanks to nofap (SA AND PMO)

    I have started to unpeel my SA acting out, and affairs —and find it has a lot more to do with emotions and trauma. I am still relearning how to deal with relationships and making better choices, set boundaries, improve my self control and willpower.

    I have been helped enormously for the most part since joining nofap. I know my AP that I found on here has made a huge difference.

    You are higher than your lowest point.
    You got this. Welcome!
    Badvock likes this.

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