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New Member - Re-attempting PMO abstinence with Community Support

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by focusdontrelapse23, Aug 18, 2019.

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  1. Hi! new here - sharing the below makes me feel vulnerable and silly. I've known about the community for a year now, but never had the courage to jump into it until today. I think a good way to start is to share my story and goal - although I'll be creating a rebooting journal tracking progress in a different thread in the reboot log section.

    I discovered how to do masturbation in college two years ago - and the habit led me to pornography, compulsively fantasizing over pictures of a few friends that I almost had a relationship with (which I despise myself for), and ever since I've been attempting a reboot. I've tried multiple methods with some success - such as meditation and a physical calendar for habit tracking, but the missing part seems to be social support. I'd never share the problem with my friends for fear they'd judge me. And I searched for advisors to consult with from a variety of resources. The sad matter is that no matter what I tried - going to the school religious office (even though I am not religious), trying mental health counseling (even though I have no clinically validated mental health symptoms), and crisis lines did not help me stop addiction. I found that most of these advisors, while all helpful and kind people, never understood it as a true problem. I also consulted my parents and they held the same view. However, I know for sure that it is a problem - just like this community does. I have had periods of serious relapse - where it drained my motivation and energy and took away the better part of my day. As mentioned before, I've been trying to reboot for the past 2 years. A month ago I held a 13 day streak, but currently I relapse daily. I just started a new job, and I feel like now is a chance to take control of my life and change it. I think I am making progress - but it is difficult. I am now living alone, with time on my hands, and I keep getting impatient with new everyday challenges and want to seek PMO as a coping mechanism despite the rational part of me knowing that I should resist my urges.

    I wasn't always this way. In high school, I was extremely fit - a varsity cross country athlete, socially skilled, and relentlessly focused and purpose driven. I had male friends who were addicted to masturbation, who even still excelled at school and tried to get me into it, but I had the senses and discipline back then to avoid being affected their inappropriate behavior. I want to be that same person again.

    I am going to try a reboot again for 90 days, this time with the NoFap community. I really hope it works because I feel in many ways it is a last chance from preventing it from negatively affecting my future.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
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  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     

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