New member...where to begin?!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Starlet, May 12, 2018.

  1. Starlet

    Starlet Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 35 year old British female and have come to realise I have an addiction to porn but I am desperate to conquer it.
    It started quite a few years ago when I found out my partner had been paying obscene amounts of money to cam girls. In my jealously/curiosity I started watching these girls, then progressed to soft porn and now it's full blown hardcore extreme porn. When I reflect on the stuff I am watching it disgusts me as it's violent and degrading and yet I find myself going back time and time again. It has been affecting my sex life for around 3 years. I find I have no sensitivity and in order to enjoy sex I am having to turn to drugs but even now that isn't helping and I feel like if I continue down this path I will lose my relationship and won't ever enjoy sex again. It is affecting my daily life. I have a high powered job and so I work long hours but on the weekends I shut myself away to watch porn and masturbate. When I'm not doing this I'm thinking about doing it and it just consumes my whole life. I haven't confided in my partner as I am ashamed; he thinks I go to our room to nap because of my high pressured job. I want to spend my weekends with friends and family, not locked away in my bedroom, bathroom, etc. So I need help and support but I don't even know where to begin!
     
    LEPAGE and i_wanna_get_better1 like this.
  2. Time2letgo10

    Time2letgo10 Fapstronaut

    Hi Starlet, I just started on Nofap too. I've been flooding my brain with anti-porn content and that has really seemed to help. Try going to yourbrainonporn.com, there's some really good information on there. Also, I've been doing meditation. That's really seemed to help too. Good luck and hang in there! We can do this!
     
  3. Starlet

    Starlet Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I will definitely check that out. I'm having mood swings today! Good luck on your journey too.
     
    Time2letgo10 likes this.
  4. Time2letgo10

    Time2letgo10 Fapstronaut

    You're welcome! Thanks and continue to hang in there! We're all in this together!
     
    Starlet likes this.
  5. slyvester-fry

    slyvester-fry Fapstronaut

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    Hi. Get an accountability partner ASAP. That helps me so much. It will be well worth it to you.
     
    Time2letgo10 likes this.
  6. Starlet

    Starlet Fapstronaut

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    Woke up today with this overwhelming urge to log on and fall back into the trap. I had to fight those feelings for a couple of hours. Then I decided I am in control here and dusted off my lycra and went for a 10k run instead. I haven't worked out in about 5 years so it was tough but I pushed myself to distract from those thoughts in my mind and now I feel amazing! Determined to beat this and getting physically and mentally fit too.
     
  7. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Today, I suffered: I was bored, I felt the reason for why people seek salvationout of porn or other compulsive activities. It'sbecause they can't deal with reality, with themselvesbeing in the present moment all by them selves. They're always seeking, looking forsomething outside, giving into short-lived pleasure andlosing it, stand there with less then before.

    But once you say yes to boredom, yes to being present, yes to surrender, you'll experience something way better: your inner power.That's why I see boredom and unease as an opportunity to deal with instead of something to quickly overcome.
    And me and my wife are on day 52 we're doing this together we're going for a hundred and twenty days I remember don't let the 1% of your body control the 99% of you and your decisions an orgasm is a decision not a choice
     
  8. CIA

    CIA Fapstronaut

    Hey starlet do one thing, get a good software to help you, the kind that emails all your internet activity to someone, get a trusted friend to do that ,you will abstain from doing such things because all your activity data will be seen and you wouldn't want that,one more thing on weekends go out hit the gym do much outdoor activity and most importantly do not fantasize and look or do things that will trigger you , take cold showers ,you'll be good to go,good luck
     
  9. Starlet

    Starlet Fapstronaut

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    That's amazing that you're doing it together! Was it a mutual decision?
     
  10. Starlet

    Starlet Fapstronaut

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    Really useful tip, thank you. I hadn't thought of that!
     
  11. Freedom-Fighter

    Freedom-Fighter Fapstronaut

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    Hi Starlet, it's a significant step forward you've taken by becoming part of this community, so be encouraged. One aspect of your story I relate to is getting out running - I started quite recently and just did my first marathon!

    As others may have said, connecting with one or two people as 'accountability partners' is a great idea. I also find that taking time to read newcomers' and other members' stories, and doing my best to encourage them, really has a positive impact on my willpower. When you read story after story of the trainwreck that is PMO, and are able to relate to so many aspects of other people's journeys, it gradually turns the tide of your own persuasion levels that PMO just isn't worth it.

    Godspeed!
     

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