New Start

Haha bro tell me about it! Once you start listening to him, his voice gets into your head and changes the way you think. That's fucking awesome with 116 days. Man i'd love to go one slip every 116 days, you'll have made some massive changes regardless of the slip. keep it up dude!

 

Hey man! love the feedback. Appreciate your comments. Yeahh well, there's been times where I've really got addicted to the apps, and of course, then I spent time trying to figure it out and make it work, and throw money at it etc etc. and of course that 'worked' to the extent you speak to girls, but ultimately if I'm in that headspace, no girl is ever going to fill that void, and I'm not going to be good for them. I remember once I went on a date with this lovely girl, and when she went to the bathroom, I checked tinder, and got another match, and all I wanted to do was end the date and chase this new girl. It's just such a mind fuck. I realised yesterday, I find dating apps the worst because they are my equivalent of escalation. They say PMO addicts escalate to harder material because things which shock produce adrenaline as well as dopamine, which is a wild mix. But I get that adrenaline kick from knowing that the girls are real, and close to me and could possibly become real, and as they say, the reward system is triggered by anticipation of the reward, not the reward its self. So I end up finding the chase, more exciting than actually going to meet people, so I'd rather stay at home "trying to find a date", as I'd tell myself, than going out being with friends and actually meeting people. Of course then at that point, I may as well PMO as it's the only action I'll get.

But that Brando Novak video nailed it exactly. That one date, that one girl, that one whatever is what sticks in my brain. not the last 5 years of lost time, lost relationship, lost opportunities.

ahh well, as I said, this time I'm doing my best learn what I'm up against, and I plan to go a whole year without dating apps. I hope by then to have changed things so much, I won't even need to re-download them!

Hope things are going well for you dude!

 

Cheers guys! appreciate the love! Truth is I've been on this journey a long time, and after my last long streak and feeling so good, doing all the positive lifestyle changes and seeing the rewards, i really couldn't understand how or why I relapsed. Since then, I've just been dedicating some time every day to try and learn what this addiction is and why i respond the way i do. Couldn't recommend YBOP enough for that! Keep strong everyone!

 

So coming down a little of the initial high you get from getting all your energy back, but still been just as productive. Yesterday was a fucking war at times.
I made the mistake of talking through all the reasons why I don't use dating apps with my mate, and of course, regardless of what I say about them, by spending half an hour talking about dating apps, all I do is come away thinking about them.
I think this was the same mistake I made last time, by constantly discussing, or criticising the addiction, I'm still engaging with it and that's a war I can't win. My only real tactic is to focus my energy on something else. Anyway, kept up my routine, and I got through it and feel good now.

Started thinking about how my main emotional triggers is a mixture of being alone and fear of not having a potential partner, which is something easily magnified when isolated during a pandemic, and when I'm actively cutting out social media and chasing girls. And of course, I have to keep those things up if I want to kick this addiction, but it means by isolating myself from social media (obviously not the messager aspect), not contacting girls for validation, not out socialising in the real world, and focusing on spending time bettering myself (alone), I'm inadvertently creating the perfect storm for heavy emotional triggers. Even though i think i'm doing all the right things.

SO, my plan is to do one thing social every day, even if it's just going to the shop, and make sure I call a few people in the evening so I feel like I'm busy. I think I have to make sure I feel really apart of a community right now, and not lonely and "in need of love".
I also think it's all well and good dealing with this alone in my bedroom, but what happens when the world gets back to normal and the everyday triggers of hot girls on the street, girls at the gym, girls at the bars, socialising with new people etc come charging back, and I've spent the last year basically at home! It's gonna be a shell shock, and being alone in my house, "getting over PMO" is not going to prepare me for it. Healthy re-integration is essential.

 

supppp! Not muuch to report. S'all good over here. Still having ridiculously realistic dreams, some super sexual. The good news is I'm waking up every morning with stronnnng wood. it works guys, there's no denying it. I also wonder if being a lot more vegan these day has an effect on that. We've all seen game changers, right?
Other than that, kept up my one social activity a day and made quite a few plans for this weekend, so that's all good. Gonna do a 6-week cut starting Monday, because I've been adding weight despite exercising twice a day. gonna plan that out this weekend and hopefully that'll coincide with the end of lockdown as well! Hope everyone's guurrd

 

Cheers man! Glad it's helped you. It inspires me to know it's helping you. But for sure go check out YBOP and Goggins, because they're both next-level inspiration. And don't worry about your relapse, you've caught your mistake early and the fact you're reflecting on it young means you're gonna be fine. It's a tough road. That 23 day counter or whatever i have, does not reflect the years ive spent, trying and failing at different approaches, and at the end of the day, it's all lessons. Keep it up man

 

Yo! End of a good weekend, quite social even with restrictions, Saturday, grabbed a coffee and went for a walk with a mate, planned my 6-week cut, food diet/ work-out plan (obviously I started it yesterday and didn't wait till Monday!), and then played some board games with housemates. Went for a lovely cold bike ride out to a cafe with another friend, found some new trails, got free coffee because we knew the person working!

Came home feeling a little Sunday lethargic, decided to check Instagram before I deactivate it again (you've gotta wait a week before each deactivation, Instagram's way of keeping you hooked. it knows you're gonna have cravings for it during that week and you won't deactivate it!) Anyway, having not seen anything remotely sexual for the last 3 weeks, I was taken completely off guard with how sexual Instagram was. Shit man, if you have an interest in say, food or exercise, that search page is literally just unbelievable attractive girls showing off their bodies, dancing, looking beautiful etc. That is straight-up way more pornographic than any of the stuff I started on when i was young. What a fucking trigger, I was caught for like a minute and then was just shocked at how i responded. How excited i became. How i was flooded with desire. MAN, I had to deactivate that shit right there. GUYS, there's no fucking around. I don't give a fuck who you are, you can't give up PMO without cutting out social media. If you've got it. GET RID. Think about it, If you're on a diet, you don't go take your steamed rice packed lunch and eat it in Mcdonalds. That much temptation and comparison is just unmanageable. Life is much better without it.

ANYWAY, then I had to send a message, and i went through my WhatsApp contacts and realised, fuck I have so many numbers of people I will never speak to again. So many random girls whose number I got 10 years ago on a night out. and yet I still see their DP pictures on a daily basis, and as a result, they still exist in my mind and my world. And I realised how fucked up this was. So I went through my whole contacts and deleted anyone who wasn't apart of my life. again, it feels good to do that shit. As Tony Robbins would say, BURN THE GOD DAMN BOATS.

 

Haha, glad to hear it my man. I couldn't agree more, and knowing that my phone isn't going to light up every few minutes (which of course i mean, HOPING my phone will light up every few minutes ) means i can stick it on aeroplane mode and not feel I'm missing out on anything and just crack on. For me, Instagram has a function, but after giving up and getting over the initial habit phase, i realise that function added 0.0001% to my life, and took A LOT away. Good luck bro, keep strong!

 

N

Nice one bro! Well done for keeping strong! we got this together

 

Wasssup. All good over here, not much to report. Got completely sidetracked yesterday being inspired by Ido Portal and trying to make a plan to incorporate that into my workout. Like where do you even begin if you can barely squat? Anyway, was fun looking into it, and I've taken away some good warm-up routines at least. Yeah, not much else! keep stong lads

 

Yo Yo. Despite how slow the pace of life is at the moment, I've just got this real feeling of urgency. Like there isn't enough time to do / learn everything. I can't complain but I think I have to narrow my focus on what I want to focus on instead of having all these ambitious ideas.
Also started thinking, i need to focus more time and energy into something i am proud to talk to people about. Giving up PMO is a big thing, and to an extent requires energy each day to maintain it, and I'm proud of that my self, but let's be real, I'm not gonna talk to my grandma about it. I'm not going to brag about it in my next job interview. even when i spend time watching a video on it, it's not really something i can bring up in casual conversation with friends and family. This is an individual challenge, and I have to understand I'll never be publicly celebrated for it and they'll never be anything tangible to show for it. I have friends who never watch P. imagine trying to get praise out of them for 'abstaining' i mean it's absurd. the whole addiction is ridiculous. But it's my addiction and addiction it is. So, unfortunately, i must deal with it. But I'm gonna dedicate more time to things which can involve others. Fitness, business, relationships, etc. And really take the attitude of learning about addiction and understanding it, so at least I do take away something productive, that can be used to help people.