New to all this

S

Shadx

New Fapstronaut
Hi fellow Fapstronauts,

So.. im 21 year old female who has been addicted to porn since the age of 15. I never thought porn was deemed to be a negative thing as it has become the norm to me i guess. I stopped watching it 4 days ago. I have never stopped watching it to realise that it was actually bad for me and I still don't know exactly how it is actually bad for me? I don't know if I'm actually an addict like how does one actually know for sure?

All i know is that it consumes me more than id like to admit and now have gotten to the point of never really getting satisfied and wanting more and just being disturbed by it all. I truly did not know that some men and women don't not watch porn and actually found it not arousing and i sometimes found myself thinking something was wrong with them when they said they didn't like it.

The wake up call/the realisation came from a hearing after i had sex with someone few weeks ago that he thought i was emotionally not there and not affectionate during sex.. which just got me thinking. sex isn't a sensual act full of emotions for me or connecting me to someone its just an act to release some endorphins. the only way of known it. Im not sure if this has anything to do with porn and excessive amount of masturbation but i know that it is not bringing me joy anymore which is kind of hard for me to deal with as its just been a routine for me for so many years.

Im not entirely sure what to do, or what I'm doing here talking about it but it feels nice to talk about an issue that is so largely consumed in our society today and for something such as porn to be so easily accessible makes it all harder to deal with. I feel like i wont know what to do now without it.
 
Welcome to the forum. You have joined a community who understands how you feel. Did you know that 20% of porn addicts are women? Don't feel like a freak for thinking or feeling the way you do. There are clear and logical reasons why we are attracted to behavior that ultimately hurts us.

First you ask how does someone know if they are an addict. There is no clear line that you step over that classifies you as an addict. It's a gradual process. Addiction is defined as having these three symptoms - compulsive behavior for something we know hurts us, escalating behavior due to tolerance build up, and withdrawal symptoms when we try to stop. Does this sound like you?

Many addicts use things/objects/images to alter, medicate, sooth, numb, or escape from negative feelings. It can be something as simple as boredom or loneliness, as major as childhood trauma, or to medicate an underlying mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety. It becomes a very potent coping skill that has unforeseen consequences that are not readily apparent. The body and brain become used to the powerful brain chemicals released during PMO. Addicts go into a 'trance' or 'autopilot' when consuming their addiction. It is a pain-free, judgment-free, stress-free state of mind. Parts of the brain that control higher thinking shut down and we find ourselves doing things we never thought we'd do and feel twice as bad when we come out of the trance. More information can be found at
www.yourbrainonporn.com/reboot_your_brain or in one of the books in my signature.

Part of your recovery will involve identifying your triggers, addressing underlying issues, connecting with others, learning new coping skills, and developing a toolbag of distractions and alternate behaviors. Feel free to start a journal in the 'Women in Reboot' section and find an accountability partner in the 'Accountability Partners' folder. I hope you find the information, advice, and support you need to make a successful recovery.
 
Welcome to Nofap your not alone here and we are here to better ourself and not judge each other. Personnaly I like the journal way of dealing with all of this but its your choice.
Dealing with this addiction is hard. but by writing this message you've made the first step toward recovery.
Shadx said:
i sometimes found myself thinking something was wrong with them when they said they didn't like it.
Click to expand...
No one like to be the one that is not normal its allways the others fault eh ?

I hope you get better

peace
 
You asked how do you knows if porn is bad for you, you actually answered that question in your next paragraph. If something consumes you and changes how you see intimacy, how can it be good for you?

As you sort out you journey, I want to welcome you to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

What, if any, are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
 
Shadx said:
Hi fellow Fapstronauts,

So.. im 21 year old female who has been addicted to porn since the age of 15. I never thought porn was deemed to be a negative thing as it has become the norm to me i guess. I stopped watching it 4 days ago. I have never stopped watching it to realise that it was actually bad for me and I still don't know exactly how it is actually bad for me? I don't know if I'm actually an addict like how does one actually know for sure?

All i know is that it consumes me more than id like to admit and now have gotten to the point of never really getting satisfied and wanting more and just being disturbed by it all. I truly did not know that some men and women don't not watch porn and actually found it not arousing and i sometimes found myself thinking something was wrong with them when they said they didn't like it.

The wake up call/the realisation came from a hearing after i had sex with someone few weeks ago that he thought i was emotionally not there and not affectionate during sex.. which just got me thinking. sex isn't a sensual act full of emotions for me or connecting me to someone its just an act to release some endorphins. the only way of known it. Im not sure if this has anything to do with porn and excessive amount of masturbation but i know that it is not bringing me joy anymore which is kind of hard for me to deal with as its just been a routine for me for so many years.

Im not entirely sure what to do, or what I'm doing here talking about it but it feels nice to talk about an issue that is so largely consumed in our society today and for something such as porn to be so easily accessible makes it all harder to deal with. I feel like i wont know what to do now without it.
Click to expand...
For me, one of the big signs (there are several) that I had a real addiction was that I didn't enjoy pornography or masturbation anymore (asking myself questions like "why am I doing this when I don't even like it?), but I still couldn't get myself to stop. It felt like something I had to do, and all my best rationalizing and thinking to the contrary couldn't seem to get me away from it.

That, and it ate away at my confidence, and my desire to be around people that I used to enjoy being around, and I lost interest in a lot of things that had given me a lot of fulfillment in the past. A lot of these symptoms I didn't see clearly until I got away from porn for awhile. I recognize them a lot better now, although I think there's still some damage present and hopefully healing taking place.
 
We're both new here and as everyone else, for the same reason, to gain control over something that compulsively takes control over us. Whether that is food, substance abuse or pornography, it cannot be good. Remember that you're in this for your own well-being and losing is and should not be an option. Happy abstinence!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top