New to NF. Married, kids, porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Lion130, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. Lion130

    Lion130 New Fapstronaut

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    This is my first time ever posting to any kind of message board, and first time on NoFap. I'm aiming for 90 days without porn or masturbation.

    Porn has been a part of my life since I was a teenager. I've managed to drastically reduce my use of porn since being with my amazing wife for the past 10 years. But I continue to use it, despite efforts to stop, every 2 weeks or so. I find that porn drains my vitality and power. It's a void where I dump so much energy, but it never recharges me. Using porn, I'm not the kind of person I want to be in the world, let alone the kind of husband and dad I want to be.

    I would welcome feedback about how to best use this site. I have an accountability partner. Outside of talking with him, what kind of regular practice do you advise for using this site?
     
  2. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    I'd start s journal and log your progress daily. If you relapse, note the circumstances and triggers, and avoid them next time. I find setting a big, aspirational goal, and then breaking it down into baby steps helpful. Committing to things online in front of the community helps me stay on track. Once you've got some experience under your belt, share it with the new guys, that helps both parties! Good luck.
     
  3. Welcome and I’m why Joe Pineapples on this. Your journey, your pace. Just never say die. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for an interesting and bumpy ride.
     
  4. Welcome it's great you are here 5o get this taken care of for you and your family.
     
  5. Les_Brown

    Les_Brown Fapstronaut

    This site has helpful advice if you search through the forums regularly or are simply looking for motivation at a time when things are rough and you have an urge to watch porn. However, I'd say there is more to recovery than just this website, such as changing your habits and improving your life overall, not just related to porn usage.

    Is there anyone in your personal life who knows about your porn usage and desire to quit? (e.g. wife, close family member, friend, coworker, therapist, pastor, etc.)

    While I think an AP is key; it is sometimes most effective when you can talk with someone in person.
     
  6. Lion130

    Lion130 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the feedback. It took me a couple weeks to get back on the site, and it's so welcoming and encouraging to read these responses to my thread. The idea to journal is helpful, and seeing the recommendation here makes me ready to do it. I think I'll use pen and paper, since using the computer alone is a problematic setup for me.

    I am at 30 days, which is a big stretch for me without PM. Also, I've been noticing when I'm putting myself in risky positions, such as doing work online late at night. And I take action to get out of those situations quickly.
     
    zibusiso83, Cindy88 and Trappist like this.

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