FerneyLovon
Fapstronaut
Hi all, my name is Ferney and I am a Porn addict.
I'm 23 and I've been addicted to PMO for the better part of last 10 years. Even worse, I have been "trying to quit" for the past 3-4 years. The longest I lasted was about 3 weeks but I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't "accidentally" click on a few more-than-revealing photos online.
I am in a relationship with a gorgeous girl. We've been together for almost 3 years; I've confessed to her about my addiction and she took it in the best way possible. She was always supportive, although she was a bit uncomfortable in approaching the subject whenever she was curious to see how I was handling it at any given time.
I moved countries for her, and due to visa issues...I am unemployed and living with her and her parents until I can work again. To say I feel emasculated by my situation is putting it lightly. I fall back to PMO to cope with stress, feelings of failure and inadequacy, jealousy, resentment, and even loneliness.
I struggle like, probably, a lot of you.
This morning, I indulged in PM. So, I guess today is day one. I always think "this can be the last time" or "six months from today, it will be six months PM-free".
I hope I can do it.
I'm 23 and I've been addicted to PMO for the better part of last 10 years. Even worse, I have been "trying to quit" for the past 3-4 years. The longest I lasted was about 3 weeks but I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't "accidentally" click on a few more-than-revealing photos online.
I am in a relationship with a gorgeous girl. We've been together for almost 3 years; I've confessed to her about my addiction and she took it in the best way possible. She was always supportive, although she was a bit uncomfortable in approaching the subject whenever she was curious to see how I was handling it at any given time.
I moved countries for her, and due to visa issues...I am unemployed and living with her and her parents until I can work again. To say I feel emasculated by my situation is putting it lightly. I fall back to PMO to cope with stress, feelings of failure and inadequacy, jealousy, resentment, and even loneliness.
I struggle like, probably, a lot of you.
- I've had ED issues. The first time I was with my GF sexually, I could not get an erection. To this day, even while we fool around, my head stays soft. It's so embarrassing...even in a long term relationship
- I have no drive. I never want to "do" anything...even with my GF.
- I can't focus. I always thought that this was just how I was...but I suspect (and I hope) it has to do with my addiction
- I don't ever want to be around people. Since moving to her country(1.5 yrs ago), I haven't made any friends...and frankly, I make no effort to.
- I'm insecure. I don't consider myself below average in virtually any aspect(which probably means more than if I actually am below Avg) but man, my confidence is shot. I get jealous with my GF a lot; as you can imagine, she gets a lot of attention from other guys.
- Man, I just feel like a loser.
This morning, I indulged in PM. So, I guess today is day one. I always think "this can be the last time" or "six months from today, it will be six months PM-free".
I hope I can do it.