New to the community: Grateful for the support

Hi All,

I hope this introductory message finds you well during this difficult time. I will try not to bore anyone, but I figured if I reveal as much as possible, it will be advantageous for myself and maybe even help another Fapstronaut out just a little bit. I have used masturbating as a form of escape for the last 18 years. I have been using online pornography for the last 15 years. My consumption of pornography became a full blown addiction about 5 years ago. Since June of 2017, I have supplemented my endless pornography consumption with other sexually "unsavory" activities which clinically would constitute a full blown sex/cyber sex addiction.

In terms of treatment, I first sought help last year in July of 2019. I identified alcohol usage as a trigger for "acting out." In an effort to abstain from alcohol, I joined a local 12-step group. While I am proud to say I have not drank/consumed any alcohol since July 2019, I quickly learned that I was dealing with a vicious opponent (porn/sex addiction) that would not be overcome with just quitting drinking. Coming to this realization led to me withdrawing from the Alcohol support group. I then transitioned into a 12-step sex addiction support group. I had maybe about 2 or 3 runs in the sex addiction support group before deciding it was not for me. While I do not doubt the efficacy of these groups for those who have truly "worked" them, for whatever reason I was unable to get "sexually sober."

Fast forward to 2 months ago, and I saw a psychiatrist for the emotional issues I have been dealing with for the past 3 or 4 years. While I have been medicating for my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/Major Depression since 2015, I began to hypothesize that my apathy, lack of motivation, and general dissatisfaction with life may have something to do with my compulsive sexual behaviors. These behaviors as I was told by the professional help I sought out was a means of coping with the uncomfortable feelings I have been harnessing internally for a long time. I did a test run on Naltrexone which is an opioid-antagonist, and it definitely decreased my sex drive. That being said, I am no longer taking this medication as I truly believe in my heart it is not a magic pill, and I will see better results by facing this journey head on without the usage of this particular medicine.

Lastly, I have also seen a CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist); while she was lovely and well-intentioned, it did not click for me. For the past month, I have been ruminating as to why I have not had any success despite my eagerness/willingness to get help. I believe at the core of the issue, I do not have many hobbies/passions. I have always had a low tolerance for boredom, and this low tolerance of boredom oddly enough has begun to shape my own perception of myself. Therefore, I am ready to give the NOFAP community everything I have. To avoid continuing my streak of debilitating setbacks, I am ready to engage in activities to find my hobbies/passions. Boredom is my trigger, and the most well-intentioned person is doomed to fail in this journey if he/she does not do something to address this underlying issue.

Thank you for listening, stay safe/well, and I appreciate each and every one of you.

Sincerely,
Morepornmoreproblems93

 

@Wolfgirl I thank you for your encouragement and I will definitely follow through on taking up your suggestions. Thanks again.

Sincerely,
Morepornmoreproblems93

 

Thank you @nico2211, thank you for your warm welcome. I hope you are safe and well.

 

Thank you @FintoniaRd, I appreciate the warm welcome and kind words. I wish you the same. Thank you, again.

 

Hey welcome to the NoFap forum : )

It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!


First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button / Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap


Here is just some advice:


First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)


Then secondly I just advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.


Theres a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and give some help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!


Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal/log (in the appropriate section for you) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.


Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

 

I am kinda late but still... Welcome to the forums stranger