New to the forum

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by henry3526, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. henry3526

    henry3526 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I'm Henry and I'm a porn addict (how liberating it is to say that to someone, hopefully someone reads this!)

    I've had a porn addiction for as long as I can remember and now is the time to stop. I first came across nofap a year ago when I saw one of the videos on youtube. It resonated with me and so I vowed to quit porn. After 2 months I thought I'm doing really well, and that masturbating one time wouldn't be a problem. Then it turned into watching porn 'just one more time', and then back to square one.

    My wife doesn't know about my porn addiction, but the on-and-off ED and my anxieties around initiating sex (due to fears that I won't get or stay hard) have a very negative impact not only on our sex life but on our marriage in general.

    So with all of that in mind, 2019 is the year I finally get over my porn addiction. I'm 9 days in and I'm experiencing a drop in libido; no interest in sex or in porn whatsoever. I expect it to come back fairly soon (it did when I tried last time), very much looking forward to it for all of the right reasons!

    I hope to share my experience as time goes on and to connect with others here!
     
  2. You've made the right decision, Henry. The best of luck to you, and keep strong for the sake of not just you but also your wife and marriage.
     
  3. Abetterfuture

    Abetterfuture Fapstronaut

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    I read it. :) Thanks for sharing your story. I too recently joined NoFap in an effort to quit porn. My wife also does not know about my addiction. I wish you the very best in your recovery efforts.

    Don't feel pressured to answer this next question if you're not comfortable with it. Do you plan on telling your wife at some point? I want to be able to eventually talk to mine about it. I'm not sure how that is going to go. Anyway good luck to you.
     
  4. henry3526

    henry3526 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys, I know I/we can do it. Looking back, I've wasted so much time looking at useless porn and I could have spent this time really living life and working towards my goals.

    I'm really not sure if I'll tell her to be honest. I would have to be totally 100% not addicted anymore, and I think that if I can go a complete year without porn then I'm someway there. I might tell her that I was addicted at a time before I met her (which is true), but I'm not sure yet. Good luck with your road to recovery, and if you need someone to bounce ideas off with regards to how to broach the subject with your wife, then I'm here.
     
    Abetterfuture likes this.
  5. You've managed 9 days no-PM already. Great! Keep it up!

    Have you deleted your porn stash yet? I realised after two or three days into my NoFap that I wasn't being committed by keeping my stash. By keeping it aside, I was thinking, "What if I fail? I'll need my porn!" After I realised this, as soon as possible I went and deleted the lot, and I included my backups when I next backed up my computer. No more porn stash — as scary as it was to me back then, I'm so relieved now!
     
  6. henry3526

    henry3526 Fapstronaut

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    Good point on the porn stash and thanks for sharing! To be honest I never had a porn stash; I usually visited a few subreddits and some other websites. I was always paranoid about my isp or someone else finding out my porn habits (nothing weird or illegal, just me being paranoid) so I used a vpn to access all of those sites. I have legitimate reasons for having to keep that on my computer, but I’ve already removed it from my phone.

    The problem I had initially with quitting was with thinking “what about all of the new content on the subreddits, I’ll miss out!”

    I think I’ve managed to deal with that well. Ultimately my reason for going to porn is to fulfill a desire for a particular fantasy I’ve been too afraid to ask the wife and in the past, previous girlfriends to try. It’s all pretty tame, 50 shades kind of stuff, but to someone with no confidence to even ask it’s a big deal to bring it up. My realisation has been that by going to porn, I’m denying myself the one thing I desire which to trythis kink out in real life, which when I think about it is ridiculous. By quitting porn altogether, I’ll develop enough confidence to eventually give it a go.

    Good things to those who wait!
     
  7. You might find, when you've eliminated your porn addiction, that your fetish loses its power over you.
     

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