New to the forums

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Nicko Stretch, Oct 7, 2019.

  1. Nicko Stretch

    Nicko Stretch Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,
    I have been struggling with unhelpful sexual beliefs and behaviours most of my life after being exposed to pornography from a very early age. Over the last 4 years I have been trying to change those beliefs and behaviours and have had periods of success but also several 'relapses'.
    I am hoping that by joining this community I can gain support and give support for others on this difficult journey.
    Nicko
     
  2. Crusader18

    Crusader18 Fapstronaut

    Joining the forums is indictive of your heightened commitment. I too just recently joined the community and it's already proven to be a great investment. You will find plenty of support here. Pmo is a hard battle, but I am confident you will find more success now that you're no longer fighting it alone. Welcome to the fight Nicko.
     
    thetourist likes this.
  3. magicjohnson32

    magicjohnson32 New Fapstronaut

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    I just joined today. I’ve tried and failed multiple times to give up PMO. I’m hoping with the help of the community I will succeed this time. I once managed 20 days and was already seeing the benefits. This will work, be strong, it will be worth it.
     
    thetourist and Crusader18 like this.
  4. thetourist

    thetourist Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the fight. This will work for sure, and the benefits of this supportive community are enormous. Tons of info and wisdom as well.
     
  5. Nicko Stretch

    Nicko Stretch Fapstronaut

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  6. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links toget you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | DayCounter| Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules |Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Nicko Stretch likes this.
  7. greborn11

    greborn11 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Nicko, Unfortunately this is an addiction none of us asked for. Like most addictions, it starts with a natural curiosity but then it turns into something far worse. Being susceptible to this, it takes over every aspect of your life eventually. But your core self is always there. Addictions like this eat away at us, slowly sucking the good out of our lives. But recognizing it as early as possible is the first step. You must come to a point where you realize that the only way to escape is to not engage in the behaviors the addiction creates. This includes having fantasies of other women if you are in a relationship, checking out women (I'm assuming you're straight, but if not, replace women with men). You must know your enemy and what you are up against (like Sun Tzu said in the art of war: "If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.") Learning about addiction in general is also important, but people tend to disillusion themselves even with the proper knowledge in hand. Basically, if it is causing problems in your life and with your mental well-being, and if you feel like you are trapped in it, you should be stopping it. It is commonplace for addicts to have slips and relapses until they finally let go of the addiction, but this is not to be used as justification. You must learn from each slip and relapse, and have the tenacity to not give up. Otherwise, life will make the decision for you. For some people, things can get seriously out of hand for a so-called "harmless behavior." I was exposed to porn at the age of 14, and the beliefs it created went beyond sexual. The problem turned out to be the internal conflicts it created. You can't be addicted to porn and expect to have a normal, healthy relationship with anyone. You might think it's just a regular indulgence, like ice cream, but it messes with your brain, and your intentions. For example, you may be attracted to a certain type of woman, but the images and videos you view will supercede all of that, and kill any attraction you may have to real-life women. You have to also think of how this would make the one you are in a relationship feel if they knew what was going on. Put yourself in their shoes, they might not understand porn addiction, either way it can be very hurtful. PM me if you want to discuss further.
     
    thetourist likes this.
  8. Nicko Stretch

    Nicko Stretch Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, yes I have struggled with many addictions over the years but have only just applied the addiction model to my PMO issues and am finding it very helpful. I feel a good way into the journey and am working now on building habits of cooler love making with my wife. She is fully aware of the extent of my issues and has been for about 4 years, and is amazingly supportive. This last 38 or so days have been the first time I have been able to be totally honest about my thoughts and feelings with her and myself though.
    I joined the forum after watching the NoFap grow over the last few years and see it as a good support mechanism for my recovery. Hopefully I will use it to provide positive references for my recovery behaviour, but also know it is their incase of doubt or problems. Thanks again for the support.
     
    thetourist and Deleted Account like this.

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