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Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Freedomcaller, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Freedomcaller

    Freedomcaller Fapstronaut

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    Hi

    I am in a 4 year relationship and my addiction has taken its toll, from dreams of my parter cheating to myself looking for fulfilment elsewhere.

    I am just about to begin this journey and ask for advice and help.

    Also durinf this process of reset and reboot.. is sex with your partner allowed? If not does one tell their partner?
     
    Soberhopeful likes this.
  2. Soberhopeful

    Soberhopeful Fapstronaut

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    That is a good question to ask. You will get a lot of different responses to your thread but everyone will have their own strength, hope, and experience.
    Even face-to-face groups have different answers. SA only considers sobriety sex with someone your married to. SLAA has a more liberal definition for sobriety.
    The bottom line, you should get a sponsor, someone who has worked the steps, has at least one year of PMO sobriety, and has worked the steps. Someone who is working a program that you like and get that person to help you. For this question, asking ten different people will get you ten different answers. God bless.
     
    Freedomcaller and RecoveringLion like this.
  3. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    You should be honestly with your SO and tell them, yes it will hurt them. But you can not build a strong healthy relationship on lies. Your SO can also offer you support in this struggle, having to hide what you are going through will just make things harder.
    Sex during a reboot is a personal choice, some do some don't. There is no one right way. A hard reboot (no sex) may help you heal faster though. My bf and I didn't do a hard reboot when he quit PM but we are doing one now, 30 days. We are hoping this helps with his DE. You need to figure out what is best and works for you.
     
    Freedomcaller likes this.
  4. RecoveringLion

    RecoveringLion Fapstronaut

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    Your partner should know. If they don’t know now, they will find out. Better it comes from you.

    I reccomend a 60-90 day window of celibacy. Give yourself the chance to reboot. In the process you are going to realize just how deep the problems lie, which also gives you the chance to address them appropriately.

    Finally, get qualified help.

    Best of luck to you.
     
    Freedomcaller likes this.
  5. Freedomcaller

    Freedomcaller Fapstronaut

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    Thank you I shall look into it asap
     
  6. Freedomcaller

    Freedomcaller Fapstronaut

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    Thank your for the advice, I will definitely look into it
     
  7. Freedomcaller

    Freedomcaller Fapstronaut

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    I guess time itself will tell, all the best to you and partner on the journey ahead
     

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