New User after consideration / Gay VPL

I heard about NF on an NPR radio report on sexuality & decided to look into it — the contact information was in their show notes.
I downloaded Getting Started but only read a few pages. Also the Emergency App, but I’m going to remove it asap since my wife sometimes has access to my phone. BTW she knows I’ve had prior problems (she called it habit, but to tell you the truth it really is an addiction that resurfaces every few months or so for a few weeks).

IT IS A RISK I’VE CHOSEN TO EXPLAIN THESE CONCERNS:
Watch only gay porn but only until PMO. That is, to draw forth the catharsis of climax. Then I close up the windows, delete the browsing history, clean-up & get on with my day w/o guilt.
However, there results little ejaculate; urologist has til me it definitely can be normal for men in their 50s. Even typing the term (gay P) is stimulating if you know what I mean. I believe I’m heterosexual—maybe bi— but not homosexual as I have no romantic feelings towards men. Also I’ve noticed that I have absolutely no sexual attraction or fantasy to/about males I have some form of connection to... such as relatives, guys I see often in places of business, work, even cultural icons, etc. Only strangers with obvious bodily characteristics I wish I emulated.
I’m sure there are forums for gay porn users, despite orientation. Please recommend forums or tags if you wish; I won’t be surfing the whole site.
Another confession: I seem to have a VPL/bulge fetish, such as due to a Speedo or tight towel after a shower. I trust I’m not the only man with such an interest. I’m not ugly or “small” etc. nor naïve enough to think I could ever look like them — oiled & tan bodies which scream for worship.

I am happily loved for who I am, but I’ve developed an enduring ED issue which I no longer blindly attribute to medications which strongly cause that side effect. I think my PMO (?) is supplanting bedroom intimacy with my wife of 25+ years.

That’s enough about me. Again, if there are specific resources (forums) on this site which address gay porn, male bulge (esp. soft) then please Reply. Thank you.