New years resolution 365+ days

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Jan 31, 2017.

  1. Okay, I am beyond the 30 days mark, therefore I am allowed to post here.
    A short summary: I joined NoFap quite a while ago, and after a 100+ days streak of not fapping back in 2016, I thought I would be cured. I saw the benefits (only psychological) but I was worried that not fapping could be unhealthy (since I do not have a girlfriend).
    So I broke my streak and went back to PMO.
    At first only occasionally, but then more regularly again (but max. 3 or 4 times a week).
    In late September I thought to myself, that I should try to get rid of that bad habit again (main reason was that I, when PMO is part of my life, keep on objectifying women) - but I gave myself time until the beginning of 2017. Why wait? I guess I wanted a proper farewell :)
    Now I am here, 31 days hard mode, and I feel very good. My self-confidence keeps on rising day by day (I have to add that I started with boxing in October, and additionally I work out - I think these things are very important too).
    The reason why I write this post is, that I actually have some questions (which might help me to not make the same mistake as last time):
    Where to go from here? What should I see as the ultimate goal? To not masturbate for how long? I know, 90 days are considered as a reboot - and after that? Are my worries about the "not ejaculate health issue" justified?
    Any thoughts appreciated.
    Stay strong and I wish you all the best.

    P.S.: The benefits I got so far (apart from the rising confidence) are:
    - more lucid dreams
    - better focus (e.g. when studying)
    - better time management (because not everything revolves around fapping and whatever comes with it)
    - positive attitude towards life in general

    I can't promise you that your beard will grow faster, that your muscles will get bigger or that you will become a womanizer all of the sudden - but I think that that is not what it all should be about. I think it should be about improving yourself and becoming the best possible you - and in my opinion that would be someone without an addiction to PMO.

    ...I just realized that I might have answered my own questions :)
    But alright, I'll still leave the text as it is, maybe someone wants to add something.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2017
  2. I am now beyond the 40 days mark and as a benefit I realized, that the self confidence came back. When I had my longest NoFap streak last year, I had a moment when I felt as if nothing could get to me anymore. I thought that it would be no problem to sustain the level of confidence that I had - even if I would fap. And I was proven wrong.
    All I can say now is, that the effort is totally worth it. Don't give up!!!
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Guest

    This is a myth! 90 days are not considered as a reboot! I wish I could find a way to disabuse the community of this myth.

    We are all different, so even if our PMO histories were identical, we were all of the same gender and age, we all watched the same genres of porn, we all had access to high-speed internet porn from the outset and started at the same age, then there would still be differences in the time it would take to reboot. But of course, none of those variables and parameters are constants. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the time needed to 'reboot to factory settings', is unique to us. You abstained for 100 days before. Were you rebooted? No. As soon as you stopped trying to abstain, you simply indulged in porn again. :oops:

    Anyway, six weeks is a good start - keep it up! :)
     
  4. IGY, Does the number of years someone has been addicted to PMO matters? i mean, not when he started to PMO but when it affected his health and he became ADDICTED to it?
     
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

    The single most important variable is how old the person was when they started viewing high-speed internet porn. The scientist, Gary Wilson, explains on his site - http://www.yourbrainonporn.com - that child and adolescent brains are still formulating. It is specifically high-speed internet porn that causes damage to these developing brains. So, the younger the person is and the longer they have been exposed to this specific type of porn (not magazines and video cassettes used by previous generations), the longer it takes to recover from the damage. Gary reckons that a guy that was not exposed to high-speed internet porn when their brain was still malleable, can overcome their addiction in only 6-8 weeks! Amazing, eh?
     
  6. Another month passed and I am really happy with my progress.
    Not that there are too many new, significant changes, but everything seems to be in place all of a sudden.
    As I have said before, I already had a long period of not fapping, and maybe that is the reason why I think that it is not as hard the second time around. But if I have learned something last year, I now know that I have to be very careful and I am not allowed to make any mistakes because I would most likely fall back to the old habits - and I definitely want to avoid that.
    Actually I was never too much of a fan of counting the days, but I am still glad that I started my reboot at the beginning of 2017, because now I can challenge myself to beat the old record (even though I do not exactly know how long I was "clean" last year, because I did not count the days back then - so I'll just take 150 days as a guideline).

    So 2 month down - another 3 to go.
     
  7. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Hey Hampster,

    inspiring words.

    I don't think you should be worried about your health issues. Semen gets also leaked through urine. You can see it sometimes.

    Like IGY already said, 90 days are not enough to reboot (for most of us). I noticed extreme difference how i feel and behave after 90 days that's for sure, but it get's better and better. Sometimes there are plateaus, which can be dismotivating to continue, but it's always worth it.

    Where to go from that? I think having a vision helps. If I found myself stuck, I thought about what I would like to experience and why it is important to me to stay away from PMO to do so. I was 147 days clean then reset 3 times in the beginning of the year. (1 time to real porn). Now i'm back at day 24 and want to beat my old record.
    My mind is probably still in love with porn. It's just so easy and you get the full package for doing nothing. BUT it's not real and for me it just takes everything away from me to live a fulfilled and happy life. And that's too much for a few minutes of getting high.

    Love the urges & the struggle. It's an energy which can help you experience what your heart really beats for.


    Hope i could help you out a bit maybe.


    Greets,

    vibemaker
     
  8. Thank you for your encouraging words vibemaker.
    And I have to admit, that I think my mind might also still be in love with porn. That was also the reason why I failed the last time: I thought that a quick look on one of the videos of my favorite girl might not do any harm...
    But I think I learned from my mistake - at least I hope so :)
    Keep on fighting - I wish you all the best
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  9. So another month passed and I am beginning to make up my mind about my current streak. I know that I can go on like this for a very long time (maybe it really is easier the second time 'round). The main reason might be, that I still avoid alcohol (because I used to do stupid things, when I was drunk - including fapping).
    Apart from that I'd say I am also still on track: after a little illness I went back to the boxing training this week and I try to work out an additional 3 times a week.
    Work is boring as hell at the moment, but I found something way more interesting (and much better payed). So the day before yesterday I had a first conversation via phone, and if everything goes as planned, I might have a job interview pretty soon.
    College runs as always: I am definitely not the most motivated student, but I am still doing fine. Now that spring is here, I consider going out more - maybe even take my documents and learn in one of the many parks of the city.
    And I signed up on one of the countless dating sites. Turns out, that if you create a "unusual" profile (I did answer all of the given questions in a fun way) girls start sending you messages. But so far I did not really develop interest in someone particular. Or vice versa.
    I still do not think about porn too much. Or at least I know that I can dismiss the thoughts whenever they come up (almost daily meditation might be the reason for this).
    And even if this sounds as if I would keep myself busy, I still can say, that there is plenty of time left almost every day. So there is room for improvement.

    These were the positive things. But wherever there is positive, there also has to be negative.
    Socializing still does not really work. I'd say I have one good friend with whom I really get along (and with his girlfriend too). But aside from that I'd have to admit, that the guys at work are the closest thing to friends I have in this town (therefore getting the new job would even reduce my almost non existent social life). And to be honest: I really do not know how I can get rid of this problem. Sometimes I meet new people, and after a while I realize that there is no connection. And I guess it is not them, I am pretty sure that it is me. Because I think that I am pretty boring - and therefore it is very difficult for me to keep up a proper conversation: I just do not know what to talk about. And I have the feeling that this problem might stay with me for a very long time...

    Last but not least the benefits of not fapping:
    - (unfortunately?) no wet dreams (at least I can not remember a single one)
    - more self confidence (finally this great feeling of "not giving a sh*t" is back - but in a good way: I still do care about things, but I can also tell other people in a very self-confident way that they should mind their own business. Last time I had this feeling, I did not really think that it has to do with not fapping only. I thought that, even if I would fap, this feeling would just stay. Turns out I was horribly wrong)
    - not objectifying women any more: I still do appreciate beauty, but I do not feel the need to turn my head for every pretty ass ;-)
    - better mood in general: I always thought, that the weather or the seasons could not have an effect on my mood. Why would they? But I think I was wrong again. Spring is here and everything seems to be easier. And since my mood was not too bad to begin with, I can really say, that I haven't felt this good in many years.

    I guess that's it for this month.
    Keep up the good fight. I wish you all the best.
     
  10. 120 days - I guess I have to congratulate myself :)
    The feelings I had towards porn are almost completely gone now. From time to time I think about "a little peek" at some of my favorite videos, but it is very easy now to dismiss these thoughts. Tbh I would have to really make up my mind to remember the videos (it is easier to remember certain girls).
    Sure, I do know that I can not allow myself a mistake, because that would just start another self-destructing cycle of reset and relapse.
    The more I get away from porn, the more I am able to see what other changes would there be to make. I think that has to do with the fact, that I got rid of an easy way of escapism.
    On one hand I can say, that I feel "normal", even though I do not really know what the norm is.
    On the other hand I realized, that life is much more complicated than I thought it would be.
    For example: I started to go on dates again. That is something I have not done in years. And the first date was just awkward.
    I do not blame the girl, but I think I behaved rather normal - so I can not really say what went wrong.
    I am still convinced, that I have to keep on trying, and that's why I go on another date today.
    Apart from that I feel as if I have reached one of the often mentioned "plateaus" - I do not think that there will be any more progress.
    All I can do now is counting the days and be proud of every day I can add to my counter.
    I hope everybody who reads this is feeling well, and I would like to encourage you all to keep on fighting - because it is the right thing to do.
    I wish you all the best.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2017
  11. Talibalhaq

    Talibalhaq Fapstronaut

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    Wow .. that made me feel happy !!
     
    jesusmysaviour likes this.
  12. I am glad that I had that effect on you :)

    One more thing I'd like to add to my post:
    the second date went way better than the first one. But this time I wasn't into the girl too much. She was nice, but not my type. But there was one thing that I took away from the date: she told me that on a previous date, she set a "time limit" - one hour for the date. And after that the date was over, and both got a chance to think about further steps.
    I like the idea of that, and I think I am going to use this on my next date.
    These are the advantages I see in this:
    - 1 hour of pure talking should be possible (no matter how experienced/unexperienced you are with dates)
    - after that hour you still can decide if you stay or not
    - I imagine that starting the date with setting an alarm on your phone could probably break the ice immediately (of course the girl has to agree on this before, otherwise it would be very awkward)

    As for my general mood:
    I crave for female attention. I do not feel like fapping at all, but during the day thoughts that should actually have been hidden deep within my mind, underneath many layers of other memories, came back to my attention. Thoughts about a girl I liked a lot, but haven't seen in quite a while.
    I don't know if that has to do with anything or nothing at all, but it either does not feel good because I don't want to think about it, or this is just a feeling I haven't felt in a long time and therefore I have to readjust...
     
  13. starts with patting himself on the back...
    Well done, another month passed and now I can say, that I have never been away from porn and masturbation for that long since I started this awful habit more than 20 years ago. Sounds crazy when I read that again...but I am still sure, that it is true. Whenever I was lonely or I wanted to distract myself I used fapping as a way to cope with my problems. Maybe there have been days or even weeks (weeks only if I did a conscious attempt) where I did not masturbate - but 5 months? No way.
    I still remember my most embarrassing fapping moments: what an ugly collection of memories. I did some crazy things, just because I did not have myself under control.
    But for now I can say that I am very well. My self confidence is still rising and my general outlook on certain aspects of life is positive.
    Now I also know where I want to go with my streak: I want to reach the limit of possible PMO free days in the NoFap counter (500) - so pretty much in exactly one year I will be able to say, that I reached the biggest achievement you can get at NoFap. And then I will decide if I delete my account or if I just try not to use it anymore. There is only one thing that I'd like to change within the next 349 days: I'd be happy to change my counter from PMO free to PM free - but therefore I would have to find "the special girl".
    You never know, maybe this will happen - maybe not. Nonetheless I will still keep you updated every month.
    I wish you guys all the best.
    Keep on fighting - it is totally worth it and you all deserve to be happy.
    Good luck.
     
    Deleted Account and Asgardian36 like this.
  14. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    What igy say is right

    For me 90 days is just a stepping stone.

    Beyond that i will go eternal mode, i will not forever do the PM, only the O or maybe MO but with my loved one, not because some pixelated girl on computer,

    i will become free man...that what i think nofap is
     
    chastedude likes this.
  15. chastedude

    chastedude Fapstronaut

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    I like that "eternal mode". It's my goal too. First built up my strength to 90 days then continue.
     
  16. So I made it beyond 180 days - I am patting myself on the shoulder right now.
    I almost forgot to write a new message, because I was on a business trip. And I think that it is a good sign: I think about the whole no PMO (and also NoFap) thing less and less. And in my opinion this should be the ultimate goal: to leave it all behind one day...
     
  17. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Amazing man! Great to hear you're still rocking. Keep it up man! I agree with you in this point about leaving it all behind.. When life gets so amazing there's no need of even thinking about porn.

    Good Times!
     
    SweetTransformation likes this.
  18. Thx. I am really feeling good right now - I hope you are well too.

    Wish you all the best.
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  19. Some more thoughts on my current state:
    So I am trying not to be on this site too much anymore. Usually I came here to read success stories almost every day, but it got less and less...
    I think many people, like on every other social media site, post stories just because they hope that many other people read them, like them and therefore stroke their ego. That is the reason, why so many of these stories have such promising titles like: "...you have to read this, if you want to achieve this..." - and that is exactly what most of us are looking for: an easy guide to a healthy life without porn. But let me guarantee you: there is no easy way. All those promising recipes might work for one person, but maybe not for someone else. I do not exclude myself from the "wanting to get likes"-community (I do know that "good" feeling, but I try to dismiss it) - but I realized, that it is never easy to change. It is always hard work, commitment and discipline. You can try to install porn blocker, quit social media, lock yourself up in your room - and these steps may work from time to time.
    But as long as you do not realize, that porn and fapping are bad and very wrong, you are probably most likely to fail.
    Think about it: do you really think that evolution (or whatever you believe in) has meant you to "take matters into your own hand (pun intended)" by sitting around and stroking your wiener? If your answer is "yes", think again. What is sex actually for? Correct: to procreate. Sure we all want to do it for fun, because it makes us feel good. But does it really feel that good (or even sound that good, if you think about it) if you use your own hand?
    Isn't it better if someone you love, or find attractive, or you just agreed to have fun with (and I know that these three categories are very different within themselves - but nonetheless they are way better than your own hand) is there with you?
    Sure, not everybody walks on the surface of this earth under the same circumstances. But I am still convinced, that it is mandatory for all of us to see sex as something sacred (not necessarily in a purely religious way) on one side, and try not to see it as that important on the other side.
    I know that this sounds contradictory. But I think I know why it is not: we are everyday surrounded by things that have the potential to sexually arouse us: TV, cinema, commercials, ads, newspapers, the internet - everywhere there are pictures of certain ideas of beauty. And in our mind we all develop certain connections to these ideas and images (that is why we tend to worship celebrities, even though they actually do nothing of important worth).
    And so we have to get rid of that connection - so that the pure, meaningful and real feeling towards sex can come back into our consciousness and our sub-consciousness.
    But by fapping, getting likes on social media, fleeing into a virtual world, eating too much, drinking, drugs,.... we are only trying to numb that certain feeling, that we will never be able to have the life, that the world around us is showing us, and telling us that we must have it. The truth is: we can not have it. NO ONE can. Not even the biggest stars or the richest people in the world. Sure they can buy a lot of stuff and go to fancy places, they do not have to worry about money - but I truly believe that they have a lot of other problems (otherwise every "star" must be happy - but as we all know, that is not true).
    So do I think that NoFap is unnecessary? No, definitely not. But I do think that in the end it is still up to you and you alone.

    I wish you all that you are strong enough to win your personal fight.
     
  20. SweetTransformation

    SweetTransformation Fapstronaut

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    Wow, congrats on your success!! That's 180 days and many more to come (hopefully a lifetime). I am motivated to keep going as 180 days is my next short-term goal and long-term I aim for a lifetime. I know it's not easy because some days we just wane by allowing our desires to get the best of us.

    I hope you have the strength to continue!
     

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