Newbie 139 days HARD MODE

I just want to express my gratitude to this site. It has been such a tremendous help to me. I'm 32 and today I'm 139 days with no PMO - hard mode.

I had no intention to join this site a few months ago but it's this site and all of your posts and info that's helped me get this far and avoid all the pitfalls I encountered in previous streaks! I have never felt better.

At about 109 days my continuous, almost 4 month flatline suddenly left and and never came back. I began feeling stronger and more confident after this day by day.

I find it so interesting to see how quickly one can get addicted to something and how only having that addiction for a short time can make it so hard to overcome. Meditation has been imperative on this journey.

I've been a smoker and a drinker with both being problems in the past, especially alcohol, as I tend to get addicted/dependent on things very easily. Thankfully I didnt get addicted to drugs. I tried but my health at the time wouldn't allow it.

I've had a very unusual life which I won't get into now but when I was 29 I began dealing with something that was so traumatic to me (from my childhood) that I turned to PM and edging. I never O, only once accidentally. I had been MO since I was 11 but P was never an issue until then. I was already meditating before I started and it was shocking to see how over the two years PM and edging affected my mind. I became a lifeless, restless zombie (maybe an understatement).

I did many streaks - a few 90 day ones, but this time I decided to educate myself more on PMO and all the rest. This site has been the best site I've ever come across and it's thanks to you all and all your posts and info that I've made it this far! I hope we all can continue on this journey without looking back and leave the demon P behind Thank you