Newbie dealing with this for the first time

Hello guys and girls,

My name is Diogo, 21 years old, I am portuguese and currently living in Portugal, I'm a Law Student and probably a pornography addict.

I guess that everything started with me being 12-13 when I discovered by myself that a white liquid could come out of my penis if I would "scratch" it. I learnt about masturbation and how a man works sexually all by myself, because my parents didn't give a lot of attention to it, probably because they were having legal problems, and I couldn't interact with other males because they were doing me bullying.

I forgot to say, hi I'm Diogo and I am gay! I'm saying this not to put all over your faces, but for yall to understand one of the reasons for being bullied, for acting not so straight and because I was obese.

To deal with the frustration of everyday I masturbated for like 1 to 2 times a day, just to find a thing that could give me pleasure, so since there porn was like a safe place to me, a good thing. But I didn't know that it could be a problem.

I had some problems being erect when I'm sexually involved with someone, even one to two times I even needed porn to cum... Now that I am on my first relationship I must say, that it is hard for me to cum when he is trying his best to make me ejaculate, I take several minutes or even I lose the boner, but when I start doing it with time I can cum, because it is my hand... I feel like that I really don't know if sometimes when I'm home or even in a public bathrooms (please don't be mad about this with me!) I have the will to cum so I check some porn and I can cum in less than 5 minutes!!! Something that probably never happened to me in a real sexual relation.

Am I addicted or this is about my will to orgasm? If I could have some help of yall it would mean a lot to me, because I love my man and I want this thing to be balanced.

Thank you so much for the ones reading this and a good day/night xoxo

 

Thank you so much!
It is just unfortunate to me that nobody else answered to my post