Whew. I’m a little scared to start. Okay. Here goes. I’m a 24 yo male. I have been addicted to porn for 13 years and masturbating for a bit before that. Went to college and both it got worse. I have developed fetishes that I’d never thought I would find myself enjoying. Most of my perceptions of sex and relationships are built on how I reacted to porn, how I expect people to act during sex in real life and how I imagined sex would be like. I am naturally curious and love to find new things and this is the thrill of finding new/disturbing/disgusting things that I’d never seen before except in porn that kept me coming back. I’m presently a medical student and I have researched pornography extensively with myself as a test case. I was finally able to distinguish my triggers and even after all of that work, I’m still watching and masturbating. I started masturbating to the mental images of my female friends in college and that was a catalyst for me to realize that I needed help. I do not even know when or how I started with that, I would meet that person afterwards in social circles and thé guilt and disgust would wash over me like a cold shower. My studies and personal relationships have suffered and I almost lost everything at a point . I have slowly lost my self-esteem and I used to be so lively and high-functioning but now, I have so little energy. I have tried everything I can think of to stop. I have timed myself with increasing periods of abstinence of 1 hr> 1/2 day> 1 day> 1 week. I always lose before the week ends. I’m joining the Nofap community in the hope that I can have the environment to sustain a long period of discipline. What do you know...my story could help other people just I theirs would help me. The lack of discipline stemming from chronic self-defeating thoughts, no matter what I achieve, has stagnated my life and I take full responsibility. I have also taken it up to work through this. I will start ‘The Shinobi Challenge’ because I’m an otaku and the parameters (I’m already using Nofap slang lol) are in line with my current (failed) regimen and all I’ll have to do is make a modification or two and hopefully, with this environment of people who are like me and some of us who are proof of the fact that it is possible to let go of this damaging habit, I’ll be free. Okay then. I guess that’s it.