Newbie here, hi all

M

Murrayhead

New Fapstronaut
Newbie here- not to porn, but to this site.
As far as porn, I have watched it all kinds. I am tired of it, I wanted to start 2022 without porn and I failed so here it is 19 days in to the new year. I am ashamed and embarrassed. I have a family, wife & kids. What I do behind closed doors is awful and I feel guilty. I don't want to be that person- it's only a small part of who I am, but it makes the most noise, and grabs a lot of my attention.
I want to stop ALL PORN viewing and use. My porn use is only part of it, I have been tempted to try and have sex with other people and fantasized, even planned, but after many years of temptation, I am happy to say that I have resisted it and fought it and stayed faithful to my wife, but the urge is strong and it is tied to my porn use. The porn addiction & fantasies have made intimacy with my wife absent and the blunt truth is, I'd rather masturbate to porn than have intimacy with my wife. That is awful and I am ashamed of that. My wife deserves better.

I want to stop all of my secretive porn viewing and sex fantasies

My plan is to come here every day and check in INSTEAD of hunting porn and to go one day at a time. If anyone can suggest threads or places to visit and take part in on this site, I'd very much appreciate it.
 
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Goodluck man.

Be greatful of what you have and what you did, like you resists the temptation to have sex with others and you now know you want to quit porn. That's great!
 
Welcome, thanks for sharing your story..
So.. Your wife doesnt know about your addiction? Well.. My best advice is confession. You need to talk with her about it... Like DON'T KEEP ANYTHING, say it out everything and all the truth about your addiction.. Be honest, sincere, cry out... This gonna save your life and marriage! Idk your story but if she married you without knowing about your addiction then she deserves to know the truth now and then, after talk to her look for profesional help...

I know I make it sound easy.. dude, it took me 15 years to confess to my parents and siblings.. I KNOW ISN'T EASY but you know.. truth will set you free..
So please, confess.. and check this post: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...te-my-dopamine-receptors.166287/#post-1410049 IT HELPED ME A LOT.
One day at a time.
Suerte.
 
Thanks for the input, I get what you are saying, and agree it makes sense, but i can't do it. I won't do it.
If I can beat this on my own, then she is never hurt by it. By the way, she married me way before my porn addiction ever started
 
I'm happy to say, I joined here this past Wed, so this is about 4 days porn free. Feels good, I have filled it with good activities, worthwhile stuff, family stuff, work stuff, and actually gotten more sleep. I'd often stay up till 3 in he morning w/ porn. Hoping 4 days leads to a week, and then 1 week to 2, and then a month and so on. Baby steps.
However, I have tried to stop before and gone stretches like this several days, even a couple weeks- and usually something will set me off- it could be a woman in a tv show or something crossing her legs, or something minor, then I am hopping on porning out. I hope that does not happen again. I am just trying to fill mylife with stuff that actually matters and means something, and porn doesn't and I know that.
 
"I have filled it with good activities"
That's what this 'beating addictions' is all about :) keep it going that way.

I've noticed I relapse when Im alone, of course, and under effects of coffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs.
So now I do only ingest those whenever Im someone around.

Never doing that shit alone again.
 
Murrayhead said:
I won't do it.
Click to expand...

You don't want to share your biggest struggle with the most important person in your life? You should. You need to.

Murrayhead said:
If I can beat this on my own, then she is never hurt by it.
Click to expand...

You can't but not only you: WE CAN'T!!! We can't beat this by our own. We need professional help and a supporting team!
This is an addiction! Our brains are screwed. Our bodies scream for PMO. There's a lot of chemical processes and as every addict we need others to heal..
Just look the 12 steps of AA.

I hope you understand that I'm not pretending to sound rude or being mean.. I'm just an addict. More than 17 years addicted.. relapsing and failing... and only when I became sincere and talked abour my addiction I could start to heal..
Good luck!
The unconfessed is the unhealed.
 
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